mean bean machine

staggering

2007-05-09T23:10:00.000-05:00

i really don't know which fact is more disturbing to me. first, that i--the fancy-pants english major--have only read 44 of the '1001 books you must read before you die', or second, that in a quick scan of my bookshelves, i found 26 more that i've never (or only partially) read.

more bad news

2007-04-08T13:32:00.000-05:00

according to candian scientists (canadian scientists? if you say so. weird.), at their current rate of decline, the world's supply of fishable (i.e. delicious) seafood will run out in 2048. this might just be the saddest news ever.

hiatus-ing for fun and profit

2007-04-04T08:28:00.000-05:00

just to make it painfully obvious, this blog has become seriously defunct this semester. it hasn't seemed to fit my mood for whatever reason. i'm starting to think that maybe i need a blog with a more definite focus. i suppose, since my training is in politics, that would be the place to go.

and yes, if you go way back in the archives, this blog was supposed to be focused--on boston-area shenanigans, if i recall correctly. i'm far too lazy to go back and read it. in any case, it didn't work out that way, and this space became a repository for any old boring junk that came out of my head.

come to think of it, i might just keep it around to fulfill that catchall function and start something new that's a bit more focused. we'll see. part of the fun of blogs, i've realized, is outgrowing them.

a mandate on taste

2007-02-08T13:04:00.000-05:00

consumer reports reports to consumers that mcdonald's premium coffees (newman's own organic, in the green mountain family) beat starbucks regular coffee in their in-house testing. this is interesting on a couple of levels, none of them having anything to do with the relative quality of either coffee.

first though, to disclaim, i've never tried mcdonald's new coffee, despite the fact that they offer it for free with any of their delicious sammiches every morning. i do, however, have a cup of starbucks' ethiopia sidamo in front of me as i'm typing this. and it's pretty damn good. ooh, also in the interests of full disclosure, i kinda sorta work for starbucks. and have for years. in fact, starbucks not only pays my rent and my bills, but they bought me a bike when mine got stolen. nevertheless, i like to think i'm vociferous in my criticism of my corporate overlords, both on and off the job. plus, like the evaluators in the survey, i'm trained in the intricacies of coffee-tasting. my palate be hella educated, yo.

there, now that that's out of the way, on to the coffee survey itself, and more importantly, my problems with it.

ok, back to the taste thing. the appeal of coffee is very, very subjective, and i'm not just talking about what kind of milk or how much sugar you add to it. (don't even get me started on calling your fucking latte "coffee" because it's just not right) whether or not a random person enjoys a cup of coffee depends very much on characteristics that your average joe probably wouldn't even know how to characterize, like acidity, body, and mouthfeel. these traits interact with the three levels of flavor (top, middle, and bottom) to create the overall taste of a cup of coffee. if this sounds nerdy, well, that's because it is. and i go here not to prove how uncool i am (duh) but to make the point that every cup is different. there are starbucks coffees i hate (verona) and starbucks coffees i love (shade-grown mexico), but my opinion of the company's offerings as a whole are relatively constant. unlike mcdonald's, i should point out.

so am i defending starbucks? maybe. a little. more like condemning the conditions under which this test was conducted. for instance, were all the coffees they tasted organic? or just mcdonald's? were they latin american? african? asian? blends? light roasts? dark roasts? were they freshly ground? freshly brewed? how long ago were they brewed? were they all 100% arabica? was the coffee brewing equipment clean?

god knows i can't vouch for my own store on some of these factors, let alone five different stores with five different sets of corporate standards. and maybe these variables will cancel each other out across the field of candidate coffees, but coming fresh from a course on research methods, the whole thing seems a little sloppy to me.

notice how i don't dispute the value thing though. newman's own organic coffee is fair trade certified, and thus about as guilt-free as coffee can be. unlike starbucks (cafe estima aside). and the mcdonald's is still cheaper! if there's anything about this that should embarrass the suits in seattle, it's that.

everybody's special

2007-01-30T14:59:00.000-05:00

i'm pretty sure that nobody with actual talent reads my blog (when i get around to posting, that is). legitimized talent, i mean. you guys all rock, but as far as i know, you've never published anything or gotten signed (no, blogs don't count, and neither does the "record label" you thought up when you got stoned on the library roof that one time). anyway, like most losers (and eventual winners, i suppose), i keep trying in spite of the harsh glaring truth and every november, i psyche myself up for the month of plot outlines and carpal tunnel syndrome that is nanowrimo.

and now you musically inclined folks can play too! check it out: the rpm challenge! record an album in 28 days? sounds like a piece of cake to me. though, you only have about 32 hours until the clock starts.

then you have to learn how to play an instrument, find some like-minded saps to accompany you, write a bunch of songs, record them, have artistic differences and go your own way, edit them (the songs, not the differences. though, now that you mention it, your musical pretensions aren't exactly original), leak them to the internet, convince dj dangermouse to remix your shit so the kids will think it's cool, find some kickass cover art, sue the pants off the hipster doofi who illegally downloaded your genius, wallow in your own crapulence, and fall headfirst into the inevitable sophomore slump.

congratulations, you're a rock star! now head on over to pitchfork and hypemachine to obsessively track your "popularity".

ok, fine! yes, i'm slightly bitter, my musical dreams will never be realized! and no, i don't hold that against musicians, more power to them. and maybe, i secretly wish i could pull off the eyeliner look. quit bugging me, don't you have songs to write?

absence makes the heart go yonder

2007-01-20T14:13:00.000-05:00

listen dan, it's been a long time since you posted anything on me (like 37 days, even) and i'm starting to wonder if you even carea about me anymore. i have feelings too, you know, and needs, and contrary to what everybody's been telling you, i'm not going to just sit around and wait for you to come back to me, extra-large hat in hand, and act like nothing ever happened. the fact is that you gave up on us, not me. and frankly, i don't want to hear excuses about finals, or holidays, or the strange virus you picked up from tramping around on new year's.

get over yourself and come back to me, because i haven't given up. and if you're man enough to admit you were wrong, i'll be blog enough to take you back. this time. everybody deserves a second chance, even a jerk like you. plus you're just too damn sexy not to have in my life. play your cards right, and maybe you can be a blogger with benefits. just promise not to fuck up anymore and treat me with a little respect, ok? i deserve it.

love (begrudgingly),
your blog

good lord, i hate this movie

2006-12-14T13:02:00.000-05:00

look, i don't really have a lot of love for the troglodytes over at aicn. more often than not, their breathless fanboyism makes me want to punch myself in the face for liking some of the same things they do.

however, there's a special place in my heart for hating on eragon. perhaps it's the residual self-loathing of a former (very former, asshole) dragonlance reader, or maybe it's just that this kind of shitstorm of a novel makes anybody who actually enjoys fantasy of any stripe feel like a total schmuck. quality, original, amazing, fantastic fiction does exist out there, but every book of sword-and-sorcery cookie cutter tripe that comes out just encourages people to write off the whole genre. so, thanks, homeschooled dipshit, for tying your cinderblock of a brainfart around the necks of actual fantasy fans everywhere. enjoy your millions of dollars.

p.s. your dragon looks completely retarded.

finals, no posting til i recover (unless i'm drunk)

2006-12-13T16:50:00.000-05:00

that about says it. see all those links over there on the right? under 'blogroll'? go read 'em if you're bored.

meet lordi

2006-12-05T11:39:00.001-05:00

they're just living the monsterican dream, nothing to do but wait for the arockalypse and fucking shred! they're way hard, but way loveable under all the fangs and goo.

is this the reason american music sucks? not enough monsters? maybe. who fucking cares, just pump your fist and lead your zombie cheerleaders to rawk salvation.

who knew tv journalists could actually do their jobs?

2006-12-01T01:11:00.000-05:00

i don't really like tv news. i've watched the local broadcasts a few times and they're pretty pathetic. the national stuff's even worse most of the time. at least the local news is still relevant to the people who watch it--the cable news channels are completely ridiculous. cnn's preaching the coming armageddon, fox news is winning the market share for old white people (news viewers) and polemicizing as if most of its audience didn't just get kicked out of washington. but out of nowhere comes msnbc. despite having chris matthews and tucker carlson on their own shows, the peacock became the first network to have the balls to call iraq a civil war on the air. i don't even mind joe scarborough some of the time, since he actually uses his brain and not just his mouth.

but man oh man, do i love me some keith olbermann.

i liked him on espn (i think that was the last time i watched espn on purpose, actually) and i really, really like countdown. olbermann is everything you could want of a media personality cum journalist: avowedly nonpartisan, viciously protective of social, civil, and human rights, striking without being strident, clever without being smug, pointed without being shrill, and possessing the kind of gravitas (and eyebrows) that peter jennings would be proud of. he has real experts from both sides come on every night and even provides political, historical, and philosophical context for the issues he's covering. context! issues! not empty blather and shouted character assassinations. can they even do that on television? i swear, it's like an incredible one-hour dream every weeknight.

i've been studying political media personalities all semester, and if they were all a little more like olbermann, maybe tv news wouldn't be the spite-filled, useless wasteland it's become. on the show tonight, in one of his 'special comment' segments, olbermann tore into newt gingrich's proposed dismantling of the first amendment. it's a good read, but it was absolutely stunning television. i don't even mind that he borrowed edward murrow's closing line. i've never seen politics on tv that impressed me as much (not counting the west wing. and 24).

on the move

2006-11-21T00:52:00.000-05:00

i love to travel, even if i don't do it nearly often enough (no $$$) and even if i'm just traveling to places i've already been to a hundred times. it's just the act of uprooting myself (temporarily. semi-permanently, maybe. i'm not sure i could ever leave boston for good) and all the little acts that go along with it. right down to requesting time off from work and watering the plants. i can't even describe what it is, but it thrills me to no end. which makes me pretty awesomely lame, i guess.

i really like the weird things about it, too. train station kiosk coffee, getting gold dollar coins from ticket vending machines, that good-stiff-shoulders feeling that only seems to come from a duffel bag full of dirty laundry, uninterrupted ipod time, texting from the train, trying to figure out where strangers are going. this stuff just makes me happy. i always stay up late the night before a trip too. it's not even on purpose (mostly), but i'm sure being tired helps to coat the whole experience in that gauzy transient drifting haze that i find so endearing.

anyway, turkey-day-week is here and with it, lots of opportunity for me to be (more) tired and move around the eastern seaboard. i just got off a series of trains and there are going to be plenty of automobiles in my near future. which is good, because i miss driving! and i have a metric assload of cds to rock out to. so happy thanksgiving to whoever reads this and try to enjoy the traveling, because anybody trying to get anywhere between now and sunday is in for a grand old time.

holy hostility, batman!

2006-11-14T02:16:00.000-05:00

that last post was full of bitter invective, which is not my usual style, i swear. i don't even really mind working at starbucks so much this time (unlike before, when going to work was like walking through acid in flip-flops). the kids who work there are awesome, i get to basically say and do whatever i want, and my bosses are just glad to have me back!

still, most customers are vacuous and forgettable and i long for intellectual stimulation that can't be found in retail. questions like "do you have a restroom?" and "where are the straws?" don't quite get my motor running. luckily, the current crew at my store is very much in the too-smart-for-retail-but-saddled-with-an-unmarketable-degree mold, to which i proudly belong, and which i vastly prefer to either the dumb-enough-for-retail or the i-will-make-starbucks-my-god-and-sacrifice-fun-to-its-insatiable-otherworldly-hunger varieties.

speaking of stimulation, last week i came in at the end of the night to help my bosses roll out the holiday decorations for the store (a hugely ridiculous process, but $$$ talks as usual) and it happened to take place on the new (to me) open mic night at the store! this was my first time (which, unlike in some clubs, did not mean that i had to participate. lucky them) though i'd been warned by a coworker to expect the worst. and, as much as i think people with talent should devote themselves to cultivating it and enriching their lives and the lives of those around them, i just couldn't fucking stop laughing. oh god, the earnestness! that night, i glimpsed a world without irony, and it was goddamn hilarious!

p.s. i'm cracking up just thinking about it!

all i ask is that you stop kidding yourselves

2006-11-11T10:36:00.000-05:00

alright, listen up morons. (smart people, you can go read a book or something) i know it's hard to wrap your gucci-obsessed reptile brains around the concept, but calories equal fat and starbucks drinks are fucking loaded with the little buggers. a venti nonfat caramel macchiato is packing something like 350, so good job sticking to your no-diet diet, suckas.

i found this in a fast food nation-inspired quiz about your favorite retail food joints (cosi, dunkin, da bux). how well did you pay attention to the previous paragraph?

4. Which grande (16 oz.) Starbucks drink has the fewest calories?

a. Frappuccino Blended Coffee with whipped cream

b. Frappuccino Blended Crème

c. Chai Tea Latte

d. Caramel Macchiato

e. Cappuccino

(answer at the bottom, i'm sure you're fairly tingly with anticipation)

on another, but equally annoying, note: starbucks customers, i'm not your damn mother. pick up after yourselves. word on the street is that you jerks are supposed to be adults.

and now, for the grand(e) reveal:

a. Frappuccino Blended Coffee with whipped cream
(420 to 550 calories)
b. Frappuccino Blended Crème
(490 to 580 calories)
c. Chai Tea Latte
(290 calories)
d. Caramel Macchiato
(310 calories)
the winner! e. Cappuccino even, if made with whole milk
(150 calories)

there, now quit bothering me (and stop talking about how "tall" is a "small". i fucking know).

dear britt daniel,

2006-11-09T20:47:00.000-05:00

i know you probably get a lot of letters like this, but i just wanted to say that you pretty much rock. just the other day, i saw bono (in 7/11! eating a roller-dog!!) and i gave him a nod and thought that though he's done a fairly good job of publicizing the plight of the impoverished and hungry and whatnot in africa, there must be somebody who could do those things who wasn't involved in the production of 'how to dismantle an atomic bomb.'

and that's when i thought of you, britt! you're compassionate, friendly, outgoing, you have awesome hair, and i bet you smell pretty good most of the time (unlike bono. also, nitrates, dude! seriously.) and what more do you need to be an international davos-fixture like lord bono?

this is getting a little off topic, but really britt, i just wanted you to know that i was thinking about you and listening to some of your fantastic music, and it made me a little sad that you're not beloved by more people. if you're ever in boston, look me up, ok? talk to you later!

love,
dan

happy halloween

2006-10-31T09:23:00.000-05:00

i don't like being one of those bloggers who doesn't post very often. i figure if i can't do every other day, why am i even in this business (besides the women and the adulation of my peers, i mean)? anyway, it turns out i can't. not now anyway. with midterms over, and nanowrimo starting tomorrow (and tons of other shit that's even less interesting), i'm pretty sure this space is going to be seriously on the back burner for a while. i guess i'll see if i can keep up with it, but i'm not making any promises.

maybe check back once a week, ok? i'll try my best to make it worth your while (with funny pictures, maybe). word, have an awesome holiday (i'm wearing a sexy dress), wish me luck with the book, and i'll see y'all on the other side (december? after finals? when i finally have something interesting to say? who knows?)!

nanowrimo, take five-ish

2006-10-26T21:53:00.000-05:00

it's that magical time of year again, when my eyes are too big for my...talent, i guess. november equals national novel writing month, which for me usually equals grandiose ambitions followed by very little in the way of follow-through. the idea is to write 50,000 words in 30 days.

i've been trying since my junior year of college, and the best i ever did was 10,000 (actually 9,874--huzzah for rounding!) and that was two years ago. last year, being back in school, i was quickly distracted by things like papers and other unimportant things (thanksgiving? whatever). but not this time! no sir, i have a secret weapon this year, and it's called: cheating.

that's right. this summer, i started writing a story and got about half of a notebook into it before school started again and robbed me of my mojo/free time/will to live. so, since i still have all that other junk to do this november (trip to see cecilia, turkeyday, homework, real work, trivia night, etc.), i've decided that it's not really unethical to use a story i've already started. since i have to type it anyway, it's practically like writing it (take that, ethics!). anyway, shut up, it's my story and my month!

p.s. write your own novel! go to the website and check it out. the more the merrier!

sweet jesus in a smoking birchbark canoe!

2006-10-23T23:19:00.000-05:00

this is just reprehensible.

i personally think celebrities getting mixed up with politics is all kinds of messed up. voters in this country are easily confused as it is, they don't need goddamn sean penn fighting crocodiles in the flooded streets of new orleans to distract them from the fact that their senator is a raving dingbat.

but michael j. fox isn't tying himself to a bridge to legalize pot, he's fighting for his life (or at least his mobility) against a terrible disease and if rush doesn't like it maybe he should cure fucking parkinson's. if he's not too busy popping viagra and dragging down the collective iq of the entire country, i mean.

man, i hope mccaskill wins and legalizes stem cell research and they cure parkinson's but the cure actually gives michael j. fox superpowers and he has to stop the evil rushzilla (he was mutated into a slobbering lizard-man by a heretofore undiscovered combination of cialis and johnnie walker green) by throwing him into the sun. twice. fucking lizards hate the sun.

so much for that whole 'indie god' thing

2006-10-17T22:46:00.000-05:00

heard regina spektor on vmars tonight. found the song ("fidelity" i would link it, but there are laws. also, buy it, cheap-o!) on los internets. it is awesome, she is awesome (also, she's apparently some sort of twee pixie/wet dream on a piano), and while i am still pretty ok in most people's view, i've turned in my street cred and cursed the name of time warner-aol for a second time. all of the cool kids knew about her ages ago, and i am appropriately humbled. thank you veronica mars, for opening up my eyes (ears)!

master of mixology

2006-10-14T13:41:00.000-05:00

no, not booze for once (though i'm pretty unstoppable with that too; see: green crush). music actually. to me, crafting mixtapes (or ipod playlists, if you're into that whole thing) is like the fine art of collage. or scrapbooking. or fanfiction. it's all about rearranging other people's hard work into kick-ass arrangements that say something about you, not those sell-outs who actually produced the stuff.

i like to make mixes that fit my attitude towards my own life. one of the downsides of this approach is that they don't always stay relevant since, well, things change. still, if the mix really works, it should come together to form a solid, delicious whole that is more than the sum of its parts (not unlike jell-o), and the timeliness issue shouldn't be a problem. that being said, some songs really (really) don't age well, and it can be hard to figure out if "jenny was a friend of mine" is still going to be rock-tacular when i'm an adult (p.s. i'm not yet).

so, if you're like me (you're probably not) and you love a good cliche (you probably don't), then you think making a mix cd/playlist/tape for your significant whatever is good old fashioned fun (and you probably already left my blog). for reals though: it's mostly personal, it takes a not-insignificant amount of time, and it can--if done properly--give her important relationship information. what info you provide, however, depends on the mix. you can tell her about yourself, your influences and tastes, what you're listening to at the moment, or what songs you want to have sex to the next time she's in town. on the other hand, you can show her that you've been paying attention every time she says she loves a song (to really step it up, find other songs by the same band, or similar bands. but oh man, stay away from covers), or that you remember what songs she played during sex the last time. or you can do themes. they're kind of cheesy, but as in most things, the line between romance and cheese is a very fine one. and it takes practice to stay on the right side of it.

caveat mixtor: you can very easily ruin a song you love by putting in a mix for a girl who dumps your cheesy ass. especially if you really dug her. shit, music is wicked evocative, that's the whole point of it, and when you go and associate it with some painful happenings, kiss it goodbye. for a while anyway. what's the getting-over-a-breakup rule? half the length of the relationship? yeah, that sounds good. don't listen to tainted music until half the length of the relationship has passed since the breakup. got it?

p.s. mixes are fun for other things too, like working out ("rump shaker," etc.) and parties ("rump shaker," etc.) and getting blazed ("the ocean," etc.)! haha, yeah right, loser. they're also awesome for a night alone with a bottle of makers' mark and singing along/dancing on the bed. not that i would know. my only playlists are titled "kicking ass" and "making it with chicks".

finally, some fucking validation

2006-10-11T22:04:00.000-05:00

"Too cool for school: You are a certifiable indie god. You know which bands are breaking up before the rest of us simpletons have to read about it in Filter or on Pitchfork."

this just in, cnn says i kick total ass, which i guess means that my indie cred has already been sacrificed to the gaping maw of time warner-aol. nuts. maybe they'll pay me if i use my indie superpowers (goofy hair! cool t-shirts! pointless knowledge!) for the benefit of mankind. sadly, when the troglodytes at cnn are telling you you're cool, it's time to burn your closet and donate your ipod to charity (doctors without borders, not tunes!). seriously, it's worse than when your mom says it. fucking miles o'brien.

why.i.hate.we

2006-10-11T10:16:00.000-05:00

so, six weeks ago, i started a new job, full of hope and promise and unbridled enthusiasm (as i am most every day, natch) and an eagerness to explore new aspects of retail merchandising and customer service!

so much for that. they gave us the standard retail pep talk: "a different kind of retail," "people first," "blah blah blah, i'm a giant tool." it went over about as well as you would expect. every morning there was a call and response "good morning, giant tool!" that was supposed to get us ready to sell our guts out to the obnoxious morons who came into the store. this is the kind of utter nonsense that made me nostalgic for starbucks. at least there, we all knew that the higher-ups didn't give a shit about us, but we could be sure that our manager (who was often a friend on top of being a boss) cared at least a little. not so at we. i'm not going to talk shit about him (because i don't know him that well, and trash talk is reserved for close friends), but basically he's a fantastic salesman and a piss-poor manager.

i've never made claims to being good at much (just writing, loving, and kung fu), but i don't think there's any doubt that i'd be a better manager than the douche i've been dealing with (ignore that parenthetical in the last paragraph, please). he seems to have the hiring part down pretty well--almost everybody i met there was both cool and good at their jobs. but he has no idea how to manage an effective team. there are two sides to managing: the people side and the business side, and to be a good manager you have to do both. that's not a hard concept to grasp, but time after time, i run into managers who can push profits to the limits but can't run their staffs to save their stupid miserable lives.

i know what you're thinking "dan, you're probably just a huge pain in the ass and managers don't want to deal with your bullshit!" and i'd be lying if i said i didn't think so too. but it can't be that simple, because other people say the same things about the same people (just with less profanity).

anyway, i'm quitting and going back to the bucks. at least i can afford to buy the things i sell there.

slight site changes, insights to excite!

2006-10-04T23:42:00.000-05:00

blogger's new layout gizmo is giving me issues, so i'm calling it a night. no more 'what hits' bar, as i got the feeling it only mattered to me and was a pain in the ass to update (there was typing involved, gah). trying to give you guys a new picture to swoon over (it shows off my eyes!) and a new blogroll. the labels are awesome, and i'm having a blast with 'em. in case you couldn't tell.

by the by, did anybody hear about that nutbar down in georgia? yeah, she wants to ban harry potter books because they're too witchy! i know! the nerve of some people. not only are witches smoking hot (sabrina, samantha, tara, willow, blair witch, hermione), but they teach kids to read before they eat them. sometimes. also a few of those witches i mentioned saved the world! what have you done lately, nutbar?

oh, right, you made sure your library didn't have any spanish-language fiction so the immigrants wouldn't come in there and make it smelly and mexican. fantastic job. really, way to fucking go. i almost wish witches were real so they could eat your children and keep them from spreading your lunacy to more innocent people!

first of all, many immigrants (legal or not) are not spanish speakers at all. they're from other parts of the world that probably scare nutbar just as badly. secondly, a fair amount of illegal immigrants (the scarier kind) are fucking illiterate! and i bet they're still smarter than you! sweet fucking christ, lady. i can't decide whether to tear my hair out or curl up in a ball and weep.

p.s. the harry potter series are the most banned books of all time. as banned books week was last week, we can safely assume that nutbar is ignorant about pretty much everything yet was blessed with a deliciously ironic sense of timing.

bad blogger! do more blogging!

2006-10-04T15:12:00.000-05:00

as someone once said: "not blogging is the new blogging." unfortunately, they said it in a blog, thus condemning the comment to a terrifying vortex of irony and cynicism that can only end in the utter destruction of the interwebs. it was nice knowing...well, joe, i guess, since i'm pretty sure nobody else reads this thing.

and if they did, my deafening silence probably dissuaded them in no time flat. in the interests of proving to...well, joe, i guess, that his time here is well spent, here are some links.

why i'm terrified
why i'm depressed (because it will probably work)
why i'm ecstatic
why i'm laughing
why i'm saving my money

there, now go do something productive.

finally

2006-09-29T10:00:00.000-05:00

some good news about the space elevator!

dogs think i'm awesome

2006-09-24T20:13:00.000-05:00

i was riding home after work. it was a beautiful evening in boston, cool and windy; the whole city smelled like the ocean. i like riding at night, as long as i have my lights on so i don't have to fear for my life around the worst drivers in america. on a night like tonight, i just feel bad for the poor suckers in their cars. with good music on the 'pod and the wind in my face, it's the only way to get around.

anyway, i was about halfway over the charles, with all of cambridge spread about in front of me, and a car pulls up alongside me. we're going exactly the same speed, and i find myself face to face with a big brown dog who has his head stuck out the window about 2 feet away. he's got a big dog grin on his big dog face and he looks at me and i look at him. yeah, i think we shared a moment, i'm not ashamed to admit it. he knew what was up.

last weekend, completely randomly, we ended up in the nyc dog fair in madison sq. park. they had a booth for just about every breed and there were maybe 200 people and 400 dogs of all sizes roaming around the park. it was pretty damn awesome. i'm not sure what brought on this whole pet love-in, maybe the long distance relationship thing is making me lonely, but someday pretty soon (when i sell my first novel, duh) i'm gonna get a dog. i grew up with cats, and my sister has cats, and my roommate has cats, but good goddamn, am i ever sick of cats. can you picture what a cat fair would be like? crazy people and snobby cats looking at each other across the park. plus hairballs everywhere. fucking cats.

my semi-annual* report on election results

2006-09-21T11:15:00.000-05:00

yes, the nights are getting cooler and the leaves are starting to change colors. pumpkins and squash are everywhere you look. as of today, it's officially my favorite season! and politicians across this great nation are amping up the rhetoric, making outlandish claims of competence and professionalism, and calling each other dirty words (hack! ideologue! liberal!) in an effort to transform themselves into the lesser of two/three/six evils.

sadly, even i get a little cynical about elections these days. especially primaries. i tried to vote on tuesday, to make sure my boy deval got the nomination for governor. the emphasis there was on tried, by the way. i went back to my old address in somerville to vote--technically illegal, as i'm a resident of cambridge now, but whatever--only to find out that the somerville elections people had me listed as an inactive voter at my prior address (which was also in somerville, but in another ward). so i asked the nice staff lady if i could just go over there and vote. she said that because i was inactive, in order to vote, i had to sign an affadavit saying that i was who i said i was and that i lived where they said i lived. wouldn't that be (even more) illegal (than what i'm doing now)? i asked. yes, she answered, way more fucking illegal. and the penalty for perjuring myself in such a way is like jail time and possible sexual trespassing. now, i'm pretty sure i can take fisty mcrapesalot in a fight, as i routinely kick the crap out of shaolin monks possessed by demons with my kung fu on the way to work. nevertheless, i didn't want to bike across town because i had homework to do and i wanted a muffin pretty badly. i'll just make sure to reregister for the general, i told her with a steely glint in my eye. i think she got the message.

anyway, voting is harder than it should be. and that's not even counting having to fight my way through the horde of republicans keeping good democrats like me away from the polls. if i didn't have the ninja skills to blend into the shadows they might have stopped me with their burning effigies and 'liberalism killed jesus' signs.

and speaking of republicans being batshit crazy...

the reactionary, torture-loving house passed a new--and wicked unconstitutional--law saying that people will need to present valid photo ids in order to vote in 08. this is to cut down on voter fraud, so that people can't claim to be other people when they vote. this is a stupid law because nobody even does that shit, and if they did, simply having to show id probably wouldn't stop them, just like it hasn't stopped billions of college kids from buying beer despite being 18. also, it's to stop illegal aliens from enacting their master plan of voting in politicians who will approve their communist amnesty idea and make them legal. this is also stupid, as most illegal aliens are goddamned terrified of being found out and that plan i just made up might as well have been drafted by pixies riding on a unicorn. it's pure fantasy, baby.

no, what this stupid law is all about is making sure that the poor and elderly--who are less likely to own cars and thus driver's licenses, and are mostly democratic voters, coincidentally--have a harder time voting. by the way, it's also unconstitutional. and stupid.

* whenever i the hell feel like it

a long-ass time

2006-09-11T10:04:00.000-05:00

it's good to be back, albeit temporarily. the local cable internets monopoly has me by the short and curlies and i'll be sans connecion until next monday. well, free internet is what i'm paying school for, i suppose. that, and the privilege of getting gouged for textbooks. what a racket.

today is september 11, which means two things to me. first, happy 30th anniversary mom and dad! second, it's been five years since that day, and i'm sure everybody in america is dreading the onslaught of evocation that anniversaries ending in '5' seem to bring about. what's so damn special about half a decade? are thoughts of the world trade center and the pentagon more poignant in 2006 than they were in 2005? highly dubious. no, the cynic in me says that five years is just long enough to pretend we won't reduce the earth-shattering events of that day to petty attempts at making money. sorry united 93, world trade center, and the flight that fought back, you guys almost made it. instead you could only wait four and a half years. that's just crass.

over the summer, i took a tour of the pentagon and the highlight, by far--not counting the ground zero hot dog stand*--was their memorial for 9/11. built into the section that was actually hit by flight 77, it houses a memorial with inscriptions of the names of everybody killed in the impact, including the names of the terrorists. that fact jarred me when i first heard it, and not only because it seemed out of character for a bush-led administration. it jarred me because i found humanization when i expected villification. i say this not as an excuse for the actions of the terrorists, but as a reminder of the fact that they are human and shouldn't be demonized. it's too easy to say they're just fucking evil and leave it at that. and while i find jihadic eradication of the west to be goddamned terrifying, i think that righteous eradication of the east is just as hideously stupid of an idea.

i went back and read the blog entry i wrote for september 13th, 2001. (i had a blog back then, and it was just as much of a self-indulgent screed as this one is. some things never change) besides the obnoxious $.25 vocab words--"zeitgeist"!--and tragicomic poetry--"gaping whole"--i think i made a good point about community. i've never really felt like a part of community simply because of where i live, and i think that's a distinctly american feeling. instead, the times i've felt most like a member of a community is when i'm with my friends--a community i helped to bring together and in which i play an important part. i don't know if that kind of feeling is possible in wider american society. the ability to cross social barriers like class, race, and ideology--which should have been stronger after 9/11!--seems to have left us completely. on the other hand, maybe i just isolate myself with semi-rich white urbanites possessed of an ironical worldview because i'm a big sissy mary on the inside. in any case, here's my old post, if you're interested.

i'll talk about school, west elm, moving, the wedding, and maybe football, politics, and how much i hate marmaduke in a little bit.

please stand by

2006-08-25T15:38:00.000-05:00

temporary hiatus due to lots of things. will resume after labor day-ish. ta-ta for now.

heading for the hills

2006-08-18T12:16:00.000-05:00

off to the lake house (somebody else's of course, i don't even have a non-lake house) for saturday to do some navel-gazing/writing/drinking and watch mike compete at something or other. for whatever reason, the stress of earlier in the week has faded with my head cold, and even though i still have nowhere to live and a relatively meager job, i'm in high spirits.

and it's about goddamn time, too. i hate being stressed and i deal with it pretty badly. i get really pissed off at nothing and easily frustrated and bored. it's awful and all it really takes to snap me out of it is nice weather, a little mental distance, and maybe a drink or two. the trouble is that i sometimes have difficulties recognizing when the stress is getting to me. luckily, i have a pretty good monitoring system in the form of cecilia. she's perfected the ability of telling me to grow up and get over myself.

anyway, this little working vacation of mine will be over soon enough. i've been staying away from newspapers, political blogs, and pretty much anything newsworthy (not counting the colbert report, of course) all week and it feels just fine. when school starts, i'm sure i'll be ranting and raving like old times, but in the meanwhile it's a more contemplative dan, a mellow dan. fuck, i wish i had some drugs.

hi-ho, hi-ho

2006-08-17T10:00:00.000-05:00

yesterday, i earned money for the first time since mid-may. i went to a new hire orientation for a certain fancy furniture concern that will soon open its doors in boston. i was conflicted about this job before i said yes. on the one hand, i'm not sure i want to work in retail anymore, the pay is less than slinging latte, and it's a much longer commute. but on the other hand, i won't stink of old milk, it's a new environment with new people, there's the possibility of making commissions, and a whopping discount on pretentious urban furniture. like most jobs, it's a mixed bag.

retail continues to hold sway over my life, but i'm just grateful it's not foodservice (sorry, dad). i like the idea of walking 5 miles during a shift instead of sitting at a desk and seeing how long it takes for my ass to assume the shape of my chair. i like meeting people (some of the time) and being able to talk to them--it's like acting class all over again. it's not fulfilling work, but i don't need it to be. i fulfill myself in my spare time by writing. i just want a way to pay the bills that won't fill me with black despair (or leave me reeking of dairy). and retail fits the bill. if only it fucking paid more, i'd be the happiest boy in town.

p.s. i rode on a scooter for the first time and it was awesome. the only other time i've gone that fast without a seatbelt is on a ski slope. and that time i got a concussion. scooters are sweet.

homecoming, indeed

2006-08-15T21:26:00.000-05:00

i'm back in boston for 24 hours and i'm already sick. also, i have no job and nowhere to live as of september first. this sucks.

snootchie-bootchies

2006-08-11T12:50:00.000-05:00

once in a great while--not nearly as often as i'd like--i just want to get blazed out of my mind. i haven't smoked weed in a while now, but i've been watching weeds on dvd for about 3 hours now, and i think it's actually killing me. the jonesing, that is. the show is fucking great. season 2 starts on monday, but i'll be sadly out of premium television range at that point (and possibly out on the street--welfare state, my ass, massachusetts). i don't have a dealer anyway, so even if i had cash, all i could do is stare at it and pray for a miracle. good thing chris died for my sins.

a blogger is joe

2006-08-10T11:28:00.000-05:00

check him out, ya'll. except for the festering conservatism and an exceptional talent for bloviating, he's a stand-up kind of guy and i wish him the best. and if you don't agree with him, tell him so, he loves a good debate. just don't take it personally when he impugns your ancestors and starts hurling ritual quebecois hexes at you.

when the planets align

thoughts on social networking

2006-08-09T10:07:00.000-05:00

i guess i'm part of the facebook generation, as these things are understood. i'm probably on the cusp of being too old for it actually, and if not for a youthful girlfriend, i likely wouldn't have bothered. that being said, i'm kind of a sucker for this stuff. if i was anywhere close to single, i could have a lot of fun with match.com and its loneliness-defeating ilk. as it stands, i guess i'm more of a voyeur(/exhibitionist?), using various networks (i'm on friendster and myspace too, i'm pretty sure) to check in on far-away friends and find out what those losers from high school are up to.

i'm not one of those addicts you hear about who posts new pictures every day or exhaustively comments on everybody's walls. for seriously, who has the time? i'm getting pretty tired just writing this shit. and i have better things to do, like finding a home and a paycheck.

oh yeah, and myspace, for christ's sake get over yourself. as much as i (may or may not) like you, i probably don't want to hear your band unless somebody i trust can vouch for it. my listening time is too damn valuable to me (i use it to listen to stuff i already like, ok? sue me, i'm human). myspace band pages are like blogs. if i read one i like, and they recommend somebody else's, i'll check it out and decide for myself. but if you just start asking me to be your friend and check out your "awesome band" i'm probably going to report you by saying you solicited me for underage sex. yes, it's vindictive, but at least you'll get to be on dateline! think of the exposure!

rupert murdoch probably doesn't like you anyway.

the great thing about these social networks is that they're not really social at all. i can completely ignore virtually every one of my "friends" if i want to. if i did it in real life, then i would be forced to drink alone (more than i already do) but in the vast uncharted internets, i can pretend to be too busy with meetings and power lunches to care about what your summer plans are, weird girl who i met sophomore year! i just wish there was some way to combine all three of my profiles into one place so i wouldn't have to check multiple sites just to cyberstalk people. what a hassle!

last week in dc

2006-08-08T10:46:00.000-05:00

and i'm having a bit of hard time with it. i guess i should've expected it...i've been tempted to look for jobs around here instead of in boston, and to contact school and see how hard it would be to transfer for my final year. it's a weird feeling, i've always considered myself to be a pretty independent person, and the last year of long-distance relationshipping (ldr-ing) was hard but not nearly as hard as i had been afraid it would turn out to be. so why am i worried now?

because i'm also excited to leave. part of that is the things i have hanging over my head. looking for a job and an apartment at the same time is hell no matter how you slice it, but to be in the wrong city while cheap studios get taken and interviews get postponed is downright torturous. and despite my mom's conviction that i'm a member of the wait-and-see tribe (thanks, jd!), i actually prefer to go out and get shit done rather than let it get all sword of damocles on me (ok, that was gratuitous, i'm sorry). unless it's a paper for school. those are best left until the last minute, because that's when all the good ideas come out and play.

right, so i was going to use this post-work week to get out there and do a whole bunch of touristy things (climb the monument, go to the zoo, stand in the middle of the city and ask the cool looking people how to get to the jefferson memorial, take pictures of every building i see, eat signature dc foods (coffee and steak? every day? i feel like a lobbyist!), etc.) but now i'm gonna be guilty if i don't actually look for jobs/apartments. there's probably some way to equitably divide these things among the hours of the girlfriend-deprived portion of my day--there are far better ways to spend the hours when she's around, snap!--but all i really want to do is work on my latest story. since i'm basically trapped here with lots of free time, i should take advantage and really try to work through a chapter or three. with nanowrimo coming up fast, it's best to get into practice for 2000 words a day.

on top of all that, there's a very real sense that we've already started saying goodbye. shared glances heavy with significance, more hand-holding, lots of um...intimacy. none of which is bad, mind you. but it's hard to start saying goodbye with a week to go. i almost prefer to ignore it until the day i'm leaving, and then be sad for a day or two (or week, or until the phone sex starts) than to feel it dragging out through every minute we have together. she tries very hard not to be sad when we're apart though, more than i do, so i feel like she deserves a little indulgence. i'm perfectly ok with her sadness schedule. when i get sad and we're apart, i'll almost welcome it. i like a little melancholy now and then to spice things up--have a glass of bourbon, put on some mournful, beautiful music, light a few candles and stare at the cieling. i try to revel in the maudlin fun of it all. she's a stiff upper lip kind though. lacking in the "artistic temperament" (that's ok with me, i've got some to spare, after all). she bottles it up when we're apart, so it's almost good for her to be a little sad all week. a small price to pay for me anyway. my job is to cheer her up, and i think i'm damn good at it.

this is a little more personal than i usually get, so let me know if it's too much. not that i would stop. i do what i want, alright? quit trying to change me, jeez.

the cool kids

2006-08-04T10:49:00.000-05:00

the day is fast approaching for my return to boston—land of cold winds, cold hearts, and cold harpoon!  sadly, beantown is also lacking in the type of interesting, hilarious, friendly, engaging, welcoming, thought provoking, thoroughly enjoyable, readable, and loveable (and lustable) blog scene that i’ve discovered in just my few short weeks here.  i’ve really enjoyed getting to know all the dc bloggers i’ve mentioned, and i’ve posted a few comments here and there on your various sites.  needless to say, i’ll still be a regular reader up in boston.

which brings me to point #2.  i want to invite any readers i have (i think there’s like 2 of you.  what’s up?  you should probably introduce yourselves to each other) to send me some links to any bloggers you know/read/met once/slept with in boston in the interests of making some connections.

my days of interning (and having both internets and the free time to make the most of them) are over as of 6pm today, so posts are going to be more sporadic over the next few weeks.  sorry, but that’s the way it goes.

it's outrage o'clock

2006-08-02T12:36:00.000-05:00

i know, i know.  it’s completely uncool to post about politics in washington, but i’ve resisted as long as is humanly (or humanely) possible.  now let me get this off my chest.

once upon a time, i--unlike many of my contemporary yippie friends--worked for the minimum wage, which was a paltry $5.15/hr at the time.  it basically sucked and as soon as i could, i got a better job.  being a white, upper-middle class male, this was easy for me to do.  it is very, very hard for other people, mostly because they lack one or all of the traits listed above.  also because the man keeps them down.  anyway, that long-ago thankless toil came rushing back to me when I found out that the great state of massachusetts had overridden mitt’s veto and raised the state minimum wage. (and speaking of the mittster, he’s still a rampaging jackass)

as for the federal wage (because not all states are as cool as massachusetts, hell yeah!) it’s still only $5.15/hr.  gadzooks!  somebody call the fucking government, they’ll know what to do!

of course, because it’s congress, and congress is controlled by hulking soulless reptile-men (republicans!), what they did was vote down the minimum wage hike proposed by my good buddy ted kennedy earlier this summer.  shortly thereafter, they voted for a congressional pay raise.  the hypocrisy and gall that these men exhibit on a daily basis is simply mind-blowing.  seriously, if your mind is still in one piece, go back and reread the last three sentences.  i’ll wait.

see what I mean?  blown like a high school quarterback on prom night.  but it doesn’t end there, unfortunately.  just this week, they put together a “compromise” bill that slapped a minimum wage hike together with the repeal of the estate tax.  in case you’re not familiar with the estate tax, it is a tax levied on estates valued at $5 million or more (double for couples).  it is a tax that only affects the super-mega wealthy.  and repealing it is a republican wet dream.  unfortunately for the rest of us americans, it will cost our government almost a trillion dollars (with a tr-) in revenue by 2021.  that’s money that probably would go to programs to help the poor.  is it any wonder that republicans want to eliminate this revenue stream?  it lets them pour money on the rich and oppress the poor at the same time!  praise jesus!

anyway, attaching this ass-rape of a policy to the minimum wage hike is a blatant attempt to lure dems across the aisle and make them vote to repeal the estate tax.  if it works, it might just go down as the worst law of the 108th congress.  i’d say ever, but i think the USA PATRIOT act still wins that one.

ok, politics over.  go back about your business.  there’s a post about debauchery coming up soon, i promise.

i (don't) need a roommate (at the moment)!

2006-07-31T13:37:00.000-05:00

anybody have any friends in the greater boston area who (might) need a room for the next year (or part of the year) (assuming i can find an apartment that requires me to have another roommate)? i (might) have a room i need to fill for $550/month plus utilities (or some completely different amount). leave a note in comments and i’ll get (purely hypothetical) details to you somehow.

it's a long story. suffice it to say that landlords are a demented subspecies of human (distantly related to the greedius ceo-us that terrorizes american boardrooms. they exist solely to wring every last cent from us tenants by raising rents, making empty promises, and doing their damnedest to stamp out all that is good and decent in this world.

my current (soon to be ex-) landlord rented my apartment out from under my roommate and i back in boston, an event i only recently heard about. now i'm scrambling from many miles away to find a replacement place that is agreeable. my roommate and our tentative third roommate are doing their best as well--resulting in yesterday's aborted lease-signing/celebration/sigh of relief--and i have no doubt we'll find something sooner or later. it's still stressful though, especially so given the fact that i don't really want to live with either of them.

my dream is to have my own place, a studio or a one-bedroom apartment, all to myself. don't get me wrong, i'm a fine roommate and i have no real complaints about the people i've lived with. i just don't want to do it anymore. i'm sick of other people's dishes, other people's friends, other people's furniture, and having to ride herd on people to pay their damn share of the cable bill. but sky-high boston rents and crippling unemployment seem to indicate that i have no real choice in the matter. keep your fingers crossed though, august is a long month, and something good might still happen.

the big mo

2006-07-31T12:48:00.000-05:00

check it out! the real-life version of ari from entourage thinks boycotting mad max’s ass is a grand idea! thanks ari, with you and me in this together, there’s no telling how far we can take it. just make sure that adrian grenier plays me in the movie. he looks like a mensch.

taking a stand!

2006-07-31T11:27:00.000-05:00

things i won’t do:

as outlined below, watch cnn ever again, due to their reporting on the coming armageddon as if it were news. good job, guys. as a news source, you’ve achieved the level of trust and journalistic acumen that i usually expect from x-men comics and those larouche pamphlets that the straight-edge kids hand out in harvard square.

you may have heard of this guy mel gibson. way back when, he filled out a pair of tights real nicely and once he even went against his mercenary ways and helped a band of post-apocalyptic survivors fend off roving marauders. those were the days. now he denies the holocaust and blames the jews for making him drink and drive. and for starting all those wars. that were actually started by evangelical christians. just like mel (catholic, whatever). anyway, i’m done with this clown—no more mel gibson movies. in fact, the first thing i’m doing when i get back to boston is microwaving my road warrior dvd! now, that’s consumer retribution!

drink miller high life. also explained below, this piss was vile even back when it was all i could afford. now, i may be broker than ever, but my standards continue to rise (like inflation!) and at the ripe old age of 25, i can confidently proclaim that i will never force this swill down my craw again! bring on the miller lite!

that’s it. everything else is fair game.

good move, give the crazies a megaphone

2006-07-28T16:10:00.000-05:00

fuck! i’m never watching cnn ever again.
you hear me, time warner? never! i’m an msnbc viewer from here on out, no matter how cute anderson cooper is or how many times he has angelina jolie on his show, or how many times soledad o’brien says she thinks I’m hot. fucking forget it! you can’t put shit like this on the air!

that's just how soledad shows her love --->

there goes my screenplay idea

2006-07-28T15:50:00.000-05:00

the someday café really is closing this time.  and sooner rather than later.  that’s kinda sad, despite what i said before.  i don’t even like mr. crêpe, and it sounds like they were steamrolled by developmentophiles and a cocksucker landlord.

not that there’s anything surprising about that.  if there’s a single landlord in boston who isn’t a cocksucker*, i’d be glad to shake his/her hand.

when i first wrote about it, i figured it would be like in empire records, and through a very watchable combination of pluck and short skirts they’d turn it all around, possibly by baking brownies or inviting scul over to shake down the fatcats or waging guerilla war on artbeat.  so much for life imitating art.  at least i can still go to diesel to play pool/get sneered at for my hopeless corporatism.

now i’m just depressed.

*quick disclaimer about cocksucking.  i’m all for it--i don’t care who you are or whose cock you’re sucking, i think it’s fan-fucking-tastic.  really, knock yourself out.  i just think it’s a completely, awesomely useful word.  james lipton, if you’re reading this, one question down, nine to go!

come to dc, you'll be in bed by midnight!

2006-07-27T13:28:00.000-05:00

i guess it’s true what they say, as long as what they say is “miller high life tastes like old paint.”  on saturday, cecilia’s brother was in town to visit and we did all the usual touristy things: walk around, go to urban outfitters, grab a cheap haircut at the hair cuttery in dupont, and last but not least, head to asylum for quarter beer night!

every week, at 5pm sharp, asylum, the vegan biker bar, fills up with the poor and the very poor and the alcoholic for a night of bargain basement debauchery.  12-oz plastic cups of high life start at just $.25 and go up $.50 every hour afterwards until they reach their market price or everybody drinks themselves blind, whichever comes first.

in my case, absolute disgust with the corn-syrupy-sweet, utterly bland taste of high life led me to instigate a revolt (ok, cecilia’s comic inability to down the stuff didn’t hurt either) and order a round of delirium tremens for the table.  and it was a damn good thing too, because after finding a chip of glass in one of them, we got all four for free!  huzzah for potential injury!

needless to say, the good beer revived our spirits immensely and when waitress andrea (wasn’t she on a reality show? we wondered.  although not me, because the only reality tv i watch is project runway, 30 days (it’s back!), and the food network.  i don’t think andrea was heidi klum in disguise…) asked out of the blue if we wanted to do some carbombs.  yes, andrea.  we do.

i barely remember stumbling down 18th st. to dupont, though i do recall landing heavily in a booth in the big hunt.  this is all around 9-ish, so the place is pretty dead.  we order a greased-out pizza and proceed to watch cecilia’s brother get more and more out-of-it.  and he’s the only one still in college!  why, back in my day, collegians could hold their liquor, damn it.  he rebounds enough to sing along with the cabby on the ride back to the hill, but when we get there we find that every fucking bar has gone and closed up by ten on a saturday!  what the fuck, dc?  isn’t getting bombed at cap lounge worth a little rain?  honestly, i’m a little ashamed for you guys.

and that’s not all we have to be ashamed about, because a few minutes later we forced the closing crew at some mexican place down on pennsylvania to let us in for one last drink.  i don’t know about you, but to me, 5 sodden, boozy twenty-somethings miserably cutching coronas in an empty, over-air-conditioned taqueria spells p-a-r-t-y!  hells yeah.  let’s just say we were happy to get home and forget it ever happened.

busy, bored, bolshevik?

2006-07-24T12:47:00.000-05:00

You are a
Social Liberal
(78% permissive)

and an...
Economic Liberal
(20% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Socialist

Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

not dead again

2006-07-20T16:35:00.000-05:00

i'm actually busy at work, if you can believe it, and my sister came to visit today so i haven't been much on the blogging tip. running out of money here in dc, so i've been on the lookout for extra cheap happy hours and the like. heading out to the billy goat tavern for an end-of-work celebration (somebody else's, i still have two weeks left), probably worth it to drop the cashish on a good beer. who am i kidding, it's always worth it to spend on good beer!

more convenient than ever

2006-07-14T10:00:00.000-05:00

last night, cecilia and i went to see an inconvenient truth, the culmination of 40 years of work by mr. al gore, the man who “used to be the next president of the united states.”

no lie, it’s an extraordinary and powerful movie.  if you know anything at all about climate change, then you probably are familiar with the kind of information that he talks about, but the magnitude of it, and the simple, clear, and effective way that he gets it across will still leave you impressed.  no doubt about it, mr. gore looks and feels far more presidential as the narrator than he ever did on the campaign trail.  he’s a virgillian figure, leading us down an ever steepening spiral to an inescapable conclusion: climate change is real, and it has already begun.  all that we can hope to do is mute its effects.  and i’m gonna start right now.

first and foremost, as always, is getting the word out.  so, if you haven’t seen it yet, go see it this weekend, and bring a friend along.  if you have already seen it, then by all means tell everybody you know to go see it.  tell them that it doesn’t matter if you love gore or hate him, or whether you’re progressive or conservative, we all live on the same planet (unfortunately, if they’ve read that insipid crichton book, they’re probably beyond reaching).  And most importantly, tell them it’s free!

to help spread the word, two organizations have stepped up, offering—through partnerships with fandango—free tickets to anyone who signs up.

first, inconvenientchristians.org, a website run by an environmental stewardship church called recovering eden.  there’s a bunch of biblical quotes on their homepage, and when you sign up for the free tickets, they make you click one box that affirms your faith, and another that says you will come back and submit a review to them.  fair enough, but i don’t really like to encourage hypocrisy or lying even on the internets, so…

we have targetglobalwarming.org, which is the same basic thing, except it’s run by the national wildlife fund (partnered with cabela’s, a hunting/fishing/outdoors equipment store) and they don’t make you pledge a damn thing.  this is who i went through, and the process is virtually painless.  in both cases, you get a coupon code that you enter into fandango’s site after you select a showtime.  the codes are good for $20, but with the surcharges, the cost for 2 tickets in georgetown was $21.  a small price to pay, i’m sure you’ll agree.

lastly, if you’re an internet 2.0 kind of person, eric pan, a regular-joe type from santa cruz, saw the movie and set up share the truth, a sort of community clearinghouse for people to either buy tickets for strangers, find tickets offered by strangers, or put together a group of like-mminded strangers to go see it together.

there, now you have absolutely no reason at all not to see this movie.  it’s even pretty short, about an hour and forty-five minutes!  if you can’t spare that, then there’s really nothing i can do for you.  As for everybody else, pass those links on to whoever you can.  tell them to see the movie and make up their own minds.

playing catch up

2006-07-12T14:49:00.000-05:00

i just wanted to say that i’m alive and well. it’s been a busy week, with lots of running around and whatnot. quick updates are go!

i saw a hawk swoop off of a building and snatch up a pigeon right out of a fountain! huzzah for nature!

i also saw chuck hagel (r)-ne give what can only be described as the foundation of his stump speech. i can only hope that the q&a—wherein a college sophomore grilled him about his voting record and anwar—will be imitated on meet the press in two years.

i can chalk up another two successes in my personal proselytizing of the joy that is veronica mars.

i was wicked disappointed by the final of the cup. now i get to count down the weeks until real football season begins. time to start scouting my fantasy team…

i saw pirates 2 and enron: the smartest guys in the room over the weekend and was thoroughly impressed by each of them for entirely different reasons. needless to say, my sympathies lie far more with actual pirates than with corporate ones.

and lastly, after a night of debauchery to be proud of on saturday—i came home wearing somebody else’s pants—i can safely say i will never drink again. until 6pm.

a paean to my liquid masters

2006-07-06T16:38:00.000-05:00

alright, listen up coffee gods!  i did your damn dirty work for far too long to have to put up with this shit!  make the someday café into a crepe place?  you might as well make it a chipotle, asshats!

ok, ok, i don’t even like the place very much (sorry, jen).  but i do recognize that a lot people think it rocks their socks off, and that it’s not populated exclusively by anti-establishment zealots with nothing better to do than look down on me for having a real (i.e. horrible) job just for the health insurance.  after all, coffee shops cannot be (entirely) blamed for the cockbites who have nowhere else to go because they had to choose between paying rent on their apartments and rent on the practice space for their band (that is this close to being signed, dude, seriously).  there might be a few someday patrons who aren’t like that.  of course, they would never stick up for me, because they’re craven, hipster, myspace riffraff and too dependent on approval from their poorly coiffed pack leaders.  not that i’m bitter or anything.

i don’t even mind the rampant antistarbucksism.  it’s the evolution from there to antidanbecauseheworksatstarbucksism that gets my dander up.  it’s like i always say, “don’t hate the playa, hate the game!”  Asshats.

p.s. gus, i know you don’t remember me, but one time i got stoned in the basement of the toscanini’s i worked at.  it was my first day.

p.p.s. someday café, get some new goddamn couches already.

p.p.p.s. coffee gods, praise and glory be to your wonderful *cough*addictive*cough* gifts!  this loyal acolyte will have your ritual sacrifice ready no matter what you do to destroy my beloved davis square!  caffelujah!*

*until i can discover how to usurp your power and take my place among you mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

forefathers be proud

2006-07-05T17:11:00.000-05:00

happy birthday america!

the 4th of july is an odd duck of a holiday.  not so much in the reasons for its existence, but more in the way it’s celebrated.  is bbq-ing american?  sure it is, unless you count all of the other cultures—africans, arabs, asians—who beat us to it.  there’s also the pesky fact that holding raw meat over open fire may very well be the oldest form of cooking there is.  it’s so easy, a caveman could do it.  sure, they didn’t have frozen burger patties and individually wrapped cheese slices back then (it took america to individually wrap its cheese, by gum!), so i guess we can lay our claim to the experience if not the method.  but is grilling really any more american than frying things?  kfc and paula deen probably don’t think so.  we can probably call the fish-fry an authentic american experience, and it’s even appropriately summery, but i don’t think it’ll ever catch on as a 4th staple.

also, when the temperature rises, there’s a certain segment of the population (myself included) that will always reach for one specific beer—la corona!  That’s just an inviolable fact of summer.  and despite the overall (and also inviolable) blandness of the corona, i have yet to find an american lager that a) combines as well with limes and b) refreshes quite so perfectly.  sure if push came to shove, i would sell my cervezas down the river for a pint of harpoon summer, but sadly, that miracle beer hasn’t made to my little corner of the swamp that is dc.  anyway, the point is that our nation’s birthday is doomed by its own summer date to be celebrated with mexican beer. (don’t worry, america, my coronas were in celebration of their election, not your birthday!)

lastly, fireworks.  we all know blowing things up is as american as apple pie.  but the chinese invented fireworks!  and yes, i suppose if there’s one thing america does better than any other country, it’s appropriate culture and assimilate people.  all things considered though, there’s not one thing about this holiday that’s actually american (not counting mike’s supersnack)!  we even had tortilla chips (mexico again) and pretzels (dutch or german, i don’t know).

i guess what I’m trying to say is, good job america!  this holiday has actually shown me that we can thank the various immigrants we’ve had over the centuries, because i’m pretty sure that without them we’d be eating deep-fried cheetos and setting off real bombs every year.

a day of reckoning

2006-06-29T16:43:00.000-05:00

tomorrow morning, whether you like it or not, the quarterfinals of the world cup begin! now, in my last copa post, I endorsed a few teams, based on my own deep-seated prejudices. and, they all lost except for argentina.

sweden – lost to germany
ecuador – lost to england
mexico - lost to argentina
australia – lost to italy (which was bullshit!)
ghana – lost to brazil

i prefer to think of this less as my own failure to pick good teams, then as divine provenance for cecilia’s countrymen to, yes, go all the way! viva argentina! boo, deutschland! i don’t care if you got past the whole fascist thing way before the argentines did, you’re gonna eat it come 11am.

it's my precious money

2006-06-29T11:44:00.000-05:00

and these clowns aren't getting any of it. i got an email today that i'm sure everybody over the age of 22 is quite familiar with.

You should take pride in knowing that the ***** Class of 2003 has an impeccable reputation for setting new ***** Fund participation records each year.

say what? i should take pride? in what? i seriously can't believe these guys--they didn't do much for me when i went to college, let alone now that i'm done with them. whatever happened to that fabled alumni network? it's no wonder i'm out of touch with reality when my dear old alma mater can't even remember that they told me i couldn't graduate! thanks a million, guys! you're not getting a cent, see you in hell!

meanwhile, in far more worthwhile college news, we'll all be in debt until we die. i mean it, so let's all stop kidding ourselves. for our parents--yes, i assume everybody is my age, shut up about it--debt was something that they could actually afford to be without. and while i know a few people who manage their debt obsessively, for me it has never been realistic to be debt-free. working for starbucks (or similarly wage slaving retail outlets), you never have the opportunity to build a cushion of savings. so, when for whatever reason--flying to see your girlfriend, stolen bike--you fall just behind on your cell phone bill or don't quite have the funds to cover your expenses, you reach for that magic little rectangle of plastic. i'm not talking about shopping addiction, i'm talking about necessary--for food, shelter, and sanity--spending.

anyway, now that i'm back in school, my debt has ballooned back into the tens of thousands of dollars even as my day-to-day finances are far less precarious (thanks to loans). it's a tricky situation that can very easily fade into the background of more pressing issues.

and the truth is that the conservative movement has been working tirelessly for decades to shift the burdens of financial risk away from the government, the banks, and businesses and onto the individual. the amount of available scholarships and grants has decreased dramatically even as more people are applying to college than ever before. that means more loans, and as the above article tells us, those are getting riskier too. my mom--a former director of sallie mae--used to warn me every day about going into default. the worst thing i could do for myself, she said, pounding home not only that these loans could ruin my life, but that they sure as hell weren't going anywhere. fifteen years is pretty standard, and by then i should have mountains of new debt--car loans, maybe a mortgage, a home equity loan, a small business loan--to make my current figure look like chump change.

oh hell

2006-06-28T11:16:00.000-05:00

here i've been in washington for a month now, and i can't help but feel that i have astonishingly little to show for it. not that that's anything new, mind you. i have very little to show for all of my 25(!) years on this funktified orb i call home. sometimes (not often, i admit) it's enough to actually get me down--much like spending hours complaining about the rain and then, when the sun finally decides to shine, i am forced (by my sense of responsiblity! thanks mom.) to spend 8 hours at work and 3 at class. this 9-5 stuff is for the birds.

quick aside about class, then back to whingeing:
so, i think it's pretty clear that i am young at heart. but in my wednesday night class, i am the oldest person in the room (not counting ms. marjorie "i met alexandra pelosi once...once!" kline). also, i am the only one in grad school, where i learned how to "contribute to class discussion" and "talk out of my ass about things like tim russert's eyebrows" still, despite my prodigious verbalizin' skillz, i don't know how long i can go on carrying the damn class. speak up, undergrads! i'm not even getting a grade and i'm kicking your early-twenties asses up and down the aisles in class participation. while solving the crossword. and looking mighty fine. and composing haiku in my head.

here's one:
longest summer days
in class, a waste of beer time
maybe bratwursts too

whingeing:
that actually cheered me up quite a bit. i also realized that the creative parts of my brain are working overtime (two novel ideas in a month? unprecedented!) and what really has me down is my lack of actually getting writing done.

and i was all set to complain about having nothing to blog about except the oh-so-uninteresting life of an off-the-hill intern. i have to "work on the website" this week since our legislative agenda is on hold til after the 4th recess. and nobody told me that the newsletter deadline was monday this week (dude, i had a lecture. i can't be held responsible). also the website just got hacked by a teletubby, so there goes any hope of being productive today. i didn't get a picture of the teletubby itself (it had some good news about noo noo) but a little while later, they hacked us again. this time to endorse firefox (my favorite browser!) and decry microsoft.

if the movie hackers taught me anything, it's that every wired-in misanthrope either looks like jonny lee miller or angelina jolie and they fly through the internets on virtual skateboards. also, they're probably jerks who dress like they're on acid. so, thanks, hacker, for pointing out our vulnerability. now run along, you're probably late to algebra class.

dogs and cats, living together...

2006-06-26T11:02:00.000-05:00

we had some epic rainfall in washington this weekend, practically biblical. as much as i love a good rainstorm (and who doesn't?) it was all a bit too much. especially when i woke up to discover that the subway tunnels had flooded on the orange/blue and green/yellow lines!

i mean, what the hell? this is a city built on a swamp, in the middle of a floodplain! shouldn't they be prepared for a little rain? i'm not a big fan of riding in the rain, mostly because my tires suck and i don't have fenders, so wet pavement equals wet accident waiting to happen. but when i discovered that the damn subway had flooded i figured i had to go for it.

big mistake. it turns out the bible allusion earlier was dead on because the situation on dc's roads this morning was straight out of the end of days. a few stoplights lose power and mass anarchy descends on the nation's capitol. i genuinely (sort of) feared for my life on the morning commute.

sudden death

2006-06-23T15:57:00.000-05:00

yes, more world cup posts. for now, it's on my mind. more diverse material this weekend probably, if i can find the time between games to post.

the first round is ending even as i type this up. sixteen teams have been eliminated, including the once-proud usa. maybe being utterly embarrassed to the tune of 0-2-1 will engender a little humility on the world stage. but probably not. anyway, i'm not in this business to make predictions, just to revel in being a biased fan. i'm rooting for argentina (for cecilia), australia (for kate), ghana (go africa!), mexico (go concacaf!), sweden (vodka and blondes), and ecuador (because they're scrappy).

do you have it? is it catching?

2006-06-21T11:56:00.000-05:00

it's world cup fever (also known as soccerhea, the futbolic plague, and antibrazilitis). cases have been reported worldwide in only the past week. medical experts are at a loss as to the methodolgy of this new pathogen, but leading theories suggest it may be passed on by chanting, singing, dancing, and flag-waving in large groups. dr. gupta has been studying the effects of soccerhea since the first cases were reported in the united states in 1991, after the women's national team won their first world cup.

"we are heartened to see that even as the number of cases has increased in recent months," he told us here at the bean, "the number of fatalities has dropped to almost zero. with continued hard work, and a little luck, we can turn soccerhea from a deadly scourge to a mild, but permanent, annoyance. like herpes."

symptoms include (but are not limited to):
face-painting
sweaty palms
jersey buying
score checking
nausea (before games, during tied matches)
play-by-play addiction
hoarse voice
registering with recreational soccer team

web sites with more info:
stage 2 chart
who should i cheer for?
new york times world cup blog

there's always somebody better

2006-06-20T11:01:00.000-05:00

(or at least more established)

yes, matt yglesias at tpmcafe has distilled what i was saying last week about political blogs and the mainstream media into a far more cogent analysis (he also uses the word "technoutopianism" which is awesome). isn't he dreamy? someday yglesias, someday...

p.s. i was going to post my eloquent plea to rep. capuano about taking the moveon.org oil-free pledge, but i forgot to copy it before i sent it. stupid! still imagine a few pithy yet poignant paragraphs of persuasion and that's pretty much what it was. oh, and send one yourself, slacker.

i love that dirty water

2006-06-16T12:00:00.000-05:00

driving up to boston for the weekend, for the be-all-and-end-all of summer fun--the american beer fest! i've been to a few of these in my time (four in two years, i'm something of a lush) and they are truly spectacular events. there's nothing like walking up those stairs and being confronted with 75 or so tables stocked with coolers and kegs, piles of hops, free coasters, and everywhere you look, gallons of the country's best beers.

have a good weekend, i know i will.

nothing to do? there's always more politics!

2006-06-15T13:21:00.000-05:00

it's like i always say: when in doubt, wonk it out!

bush goes to iraq! country yawns, wonders what's in the fridge
like the adolescent we always suspected he was, the president snuck out of the country for the afternoon to go joyriding around baghdad, shaking hands, smiling prettily, and infuriating insurgents, who unfortunately ran out of ieds just a few hours before the president arrived. "the great satan himself!" remarked one bemused militia member ruefully, "i knew we shouldn't have blown up that last bus full of schoolchildren. what a waste!" americans, when reached for comment, were confused.

but seriously, he's looking for a bump after the zarqawi/iraqi cabinet mojo wears off, and this might be his last chance to really get some good iraq news rolling before the 9/11 5-year and the beginning of the midterm primaries. in any case, it seems like the american people are finally tired of his nonstop posturing and actually want clear answers. welcome back, the american people! i promise to go easy on the 'i told you so's.

congress unhappy with constitution, sticks head up ass to look for answers
the republican leadership in the senate, led by evil cheer-tator frist, tried to pass another ill-considered constitutional amendment this week: the defend the flag from liberals amendment aka flag-burning. now, i'm no joe brassard-style jingoist, but i do love/have feelings for/like in that way my country and its flag. and that's precisely why i would never want to restrict my right to burn that flag. especially if my country didn't feel the same way about me as i did about it. burning everything that reminds you of your crush is the only way to heal. even oprah says so.

what if they threw a convention and nobody blogged?
fat chance. the first ever yearlykos convention was last weekend in vegas. if you don't know, dailykos is one of the biggest progressive blogs out there, boasting a ginormous readership and gads of influence. markos and friends set out to bring all of the progressive netroots together and succeeded handily, drawing such democratic luminaries as harry reid (who got booed), hillary clinton (who got booed), and wunderkind mark warner (who got crowned).

i have a lot of thoughts on the netroots, most of them good, but i still haven't sorted out my entire position. i think kos, mydd-chris, atrios, digby, et al. are probably on the right track. they have great ideas on how to undercut the consolidation of the mainstream media, play to a wider audience than the msm's homogenized content can affect, and keep the whole thing incredibly, brilliantly, small 'd' democratic. they've already had proven successes: paul hackett, tim kaine, jon tester, ned lamont, and now this guy webb. they're a force to be reckoned with in political commentary, fundraising, grassroots organizing, and now conventioning, i guess. they really do seem to have a fighting chance of forcing the direction of the party away from the dlc, the tammany-style bosses, and the frothy maw of consultancy. all of which is fantastic news, not just for the democrats, but for the entire country. and a few people are listening hard: howard dean, rahm emmanuel, and mark warner.

there's a few things that don't sit right with me though. first, the kneejerk disdain and condescension to the mainstream media. i don't like this for a couple of reasons. the msm should be a resource for the netroots, not an enemy. don't get me wrong, were these people to fall under the auspices of corporate management, the whole operation would be in trouble. but some of the nation's journalists are not patsies for the status quo and they don't kowtow and bootlick nearly as often as rabid msm-haters like kos and atrios attest. with that said, i think there has to be some way to get the msm to do it's job and actually start confronting the government like they used to. the fact is that the netroots' overt bias and partisanship is just as damaging to them as it is to everybody else. and while i also don't defend the msm as being paragons of objectivity, they deserve credit for the few times they go out and try to present all sides of the story. i guess what i'm saying is this. rather than attempt to sabotage or make irrelevant the msm, the netroots should be promoting various methods of media reform across the board.

good news for my starbucks stock

2006-06-14T10:03:00.000-05:00

not one, but two pieces of fantastic news for coffee drinkers out there this week. as a regular drinker of multiple coffee-based beverages every day, i've always kinda hoped that there was a silver lining to the whole stained teeth, high blood pressure thing. it turns out that i've been both saving my life and broadening my horizons all this time! huzzah for coffee! all hail the mighty bean!

first, via every single news source out there, drinking coffee may reduce the damage you all are doing to your livers by drinking all the time. a high coffee intake, 3-4 cups per day, seems to have reduced the risk of alcoholic cirrhosis by as much as 80%! hot damn. and i always thought my liver hated me. turns out i was doing as much good as harm! in your face, liver, i'm off to the liquor store.

and second, not only does coffee cure what ails you, (yes, you specifically, you dirty lush), but it can literally make you a better person. the latimes tells us that aussie scientists have determined that caffeine will open your mind. coffee will make you more open to new ideas, even if they contradict the ideas you already have. somebody call lakoff, cause this is gonna crack that whole framing problem wide open. all we have to do is take the conservatives out for coffee! it's so damn simple! i guess there's no hope for the mormons though, with their whole "no drugs" thing. poor bastards.

reality bites

2006-06-13T11:50:00.000-05:00

ah, covering the phones for a lunchbreak. is there any other single experience that defines the intern so completely? i submit that there is not. oh sure, filing and collating are intern-favoring tasks, but the one-hour shift on the phones is the be all and end all of unpaid drudgery.

the office assitant or--dare i say it?--secretary gets paid a decent salary to do this job. not great, of course, but when you apply for a job called 'office assistant' you know precisely what you're getting into. for the intern, though, (especially the intern in the glamorous world of progressive policy) covering the phones has the same feel as going home to live with your parents after graduation. it's a coming down to earth sort of feeling. not really bad, in fact it's a vital component of running an office. nevertheless, i feel a little demeaned by it. i have a bachelor's degree...and printed instructions for how to forward a call to voicemail. cognitive dissonance and i are going to be good friends this summer.

plenty of time for blogging, though. and the nytimes coverage of france v. switzerland!

tuesday? again?

2006-06-13T10:21:00.000-05:00

okay fine, a quick weekend (+ monday) recap:

at the world cup
argentina won, cecilia very happy
- not that anybody was surprised. even though they were only 9th in the world rankings going into the tournament, they're highly favored to give brazil a run for their money. this is good for me, mostly because cecilia is crazy about argentina. and you know what they say about crazy superfan girlfriends when their team wins? well, it's all true. when she found out that the final is going to be held on argentina's version of independence day (july 9th), she predicted that the entire country would simply implode in a burst of nationalism like nothing the world had ever seen.

usa embarrassed by czech republic, dan drinks heavily
- on the other hand, it didn't take long for most people to realize that the world rankings have no bearing whatsoever on the cup. we were ranked 5th out of the world going into monday's travesty. what kind of experts would rank us ahead of argentina, you ask? mythical ones, that's who. after some investigative reporting (mostly crying into my coffee and grumbling hungover anti-czech epithets) i've uncovered that the world rankings were in fact drafted by tiny, glittering pixies with mystical ink that raises the hopes of all who read it.

in other news
dan 2, dc parking laws 0!
- in a fit of pique, the dc dmv decided not to let cecilia renew my visitor's permit. instead, they used their bureaucratic superpowers to force me to undertake a dangerous quest: the search for the unzoned block! you see, dc's streets are zoned resident only, block by block. so in order to park legally, one would have to register oneself and one's car in dc and obtain a residential permit. now, dc residents are allowed to apply for visitor's passes, but then the guy was mean to cecilia and told her she was in violation of dc code (if they only knew). so, long story short, she told me to check the street that goes through the park, arguing that, since there are no residents on that block, then nobody could petition to have it zoned residents-only. lo and behold, she's a genius, and bureaucracy is thwarted again!

take pride in your nuts
- went to the dc pride week street festival on sunday after watching mexico savage iran and saying something snarky about the west winning out after all (conveniently ignoring mexico's impending flirtation with oh-so-trendy latin american populism. conformists). anyway, never having been to a pride event before, i was somewhat surprised to find that it resembles a cross between a crappy job fair and college orientation, but with fewer free keychains and more svelte young men looking for donations to human rights campaign. needless to say, the high point (like at most events ending in 'fair') was the cinnamon roasted nuts!

and i thought it was just american politicians who were monosyllabic
- on monday afternoon, i left work early to go to a resume-writing workshop, even though i was told that my resume was "awesome" when i got down to this malarial swamp of a city. i guess the greatness of my resume is moot anyway, because i went to a bar to watch the usa game instead. two beers and a large cup of dejection later, i made my way to the department of the interior (thanks to my infallible department-of-the-interior sense!) to listen to his excellency, ambassador sen of india give a little speech. a very little speech! this guy made the president look gregarious, loquacious even. seriously, i know you're a bigshot ambassador, representing over a billion people, but would it kill you to prepare a few index cards first? apparently it would. good luck with the nuclear non-proliferation.

a sporting event for the people...

2006-06-09T10:47:00.000-05:00

...30 billion people! hells yes, i am ready for some futbol! i don't even know why i'm so into the world cup. maybe it's mi novia internacional, maybe it's my emergence as a citizen of the world (look it up!), maybe it's the fact that my combined interest in the nhl finals, nba finals, and midseason baseball is roughly the same as my interest in america's got talent (that's none, smartass). whatever the reason, this tournament is gonna rock me sooo hard.

i just wish i could watch the games at work. usa's first match is on monday afternoon, and the odds that i can duck out and go down some frosty american beer in celebration are pretty slim. the bbc is streaming them on the interwebs, but slashdot sez that the sheer number of people trying to watch might cause the whole thing to come crashing down around our ears, bringing death and destruction, and the end of civilization. if that happens, then the terrorists have already won.

tuesday long over, armageddon still pending

2006-06-08T15:43:00.000-05:00

yeah, i can't leave the 6/6/06 thing alone...numerology ranking only slightly above 'symbology' on dan's scale of ridiculous things to point and laugh at. tuesday wasn't particularly memorable, it seems, even though it was actually a day we should've been remembering: the sixty-something-th anniversary of d-day! ahh, i remember back when wars meant something and men were men. now those were some gosh-darned evildoers, by gum.

but enough nostalgia, how about that devil-child movie? worth watching if only to watch julia stiles die. and to find out how long liev schriber can keep a straight face. man, the original omen wasn't so great that it merited remaking, was it? maybe hollywood forgot they already made it once. also, is it me, or does damien look less like the antichrist and more like the kid that nobody likes and gets pushed in puddles a lot? man, i hate bullies.

a dose of politics

2006-06-08T12:04:00.000-05:00

it's good for you, so shut up and swallow.

first, the news everybody's talking about. abu musab al-zarqawi was killed in an air strike last night. this is good news. even though the violence in iraq won't stop and the massive cost in lives and dollars won't be reduced, it's still good news.

second, just a little while ago, we won a vote on the estate tax! huzzah! seeing as senate procedures are only slightly less complicated than rocket surgery, i'm still a little fuzzy on what exactly we accomplished, but the guys on the budget team here are totally jazzed! repeal would cost us $1 trillion over ten years they told me in full gravitas mode. factcheck.org told a different story, but i didn't have the heart to tell them that. spin, budget team, spin like the wind!

third, tuesday (more on that later) was one of the many pre-election day elections that keep the wonks salivating and fill the lonely hours of the news cycle. and it was a pretty good day for the forces of justice. that ten commandments guy lost, old man burns is in trouble, and the rncc spent a whopping one fifth of its warchest on ca-50 only to win by a paltry 5000 votes. that's not what i would call a stellar roi. then again, i got most of my economics knowledge from playing simcity.

oh yeah, and the fma went down in flames again, picking up one more vote (49) than it had in 2004. at this rate, homosexuals won't have anything to worry about until 2042--except for hatred, fear, oppression, pesky state marriage bans, aids, the bird flu, evildoers, immigrants, flag burners, suvs, and mary cheney. and this was supposed to be uplifting. sorry.

bycadelic

2006-06-07T12:16:00.000-05:00

alright, i fully admit that i may not be the most accomplished cyclist in the world. my ride is a police auction special (courtesy of the ithaca pd, thanks guys!), i can't afford clip-in pedals, and i've never even been to france. however, i do have some small experience with the clusterfuck-on-wheels that is urban bike commuting.

in the ways that matter--traffic laws, number of cars on the road, stupid pedestrians--dc is a lot like boston. while the roads are wider, bike lanes are nonexistent and may in fact be mythical. however, there are two very big differences that i've noticed so far. first, cars seem to be possessed of an almost third-world-esque desire to take up every inch of pavement on the road. three cars across two lanes seems to be a fun game for dc drivers, as is driving as close to the curb as possible.

secondly, dc bikers are a lot stupider than their new england counterparts. maybe it's because i read that dig article that one time, but the rules of biking (to say nothing of the laws) are pretty clear. stay on the right side of the road, obey traffic lights, stay off the sidewalks, use hand signals. pretty simple stuff, really, and yet during my 30 minute ride, i had to twice dodge oncoming bikers in my way and use my disapproving face at riders who were barreling down the sidewalk next to me. i wouldn't normally be upset by little things, but when bikers act stupidly, it makes it less safe for all of us. douchebags.

in the interests of full disclosure, i have on occasion ridden through a (deserted!) red light and used (empty!) sidewalks to get around stupid traffic problems. i do these things knowing full well that they are wrong and the inevitable crushing guilt is punishment enough. i'm pretty sure this morning's crop of morons aren't smart enough to even comprehend guilt, let alone the bike laws.

speaking of gawker

2006-06-06T15:05:00.000-05:00

two unbelievably minor pieces of celebrity-dan intersection to report.

1. i'm pretty sure i saw the third-place finisher of last week's scripp's national spelling bee walking in front of the capitol on saturday. this wouldn't be all that interesting except she was, in the words of tim (one of the guys i watched it with), "like, the hottest 13-year-old ever!"

1a. yes, i watched the spelling bee with other guys. but in my defense: it was supposed to be a non-spelling-related party that fell through, my girlfriend was there too, and we flipped to so you think you can dance on the commercials. so there.

1b. for the record, the hottest 13-year-old ever was hermione in the third 'harry potter' movie. and that was determined by judges, people! judges!

2. this one's way better, if by 'better' i mean 'completely obscure and ridiculous', which i do. it turns out that henry gale--the evil guy on lost dated cecilia's friend's mom for a while way back in another decade! how crazy is that? i mean, sweet jesus, i wouldn't date anyone with bugeyes like his.

hmm. maybe whatever it is gawker does is harder than it looks. ahahahaha. no way, if those invertibrates can score serious celebrity scoops, it's only because the streets of manhattan are literally paved with 'stars' just waiting for some slobs with camera phones and blackberries to get used to the daylight and notice them.

home on the range

2006-05-25T10:15:00.000-05:00

I'm laid over in mountaintop for a day or so, en route to living in sin for the summer. Seemed the perfect time to write a little bit about whatever. I also went and updated (finally) the dan-ticker up there, so anybody who stuck through the long "dark time" and is still reading me can know what I do with my life.

I haven't been here in pa for a while--I get about two visits a year. it's really a great spot for peaceing out of everything that's going on, perfect for that end-of-the-semester-just-want-to-sleep week. also perfect for convincing your parents to upgrade your business-casual wardrobe for your summer of impressing important people. which is pretty likely. also perfect for awkwardly having your high school crush who you haven't spoken to in seven years and who never liked you in that way wait on you when you go out to dinner to celebrate said wardrobe upgrade. bizarre doesn't begin to cover it.

anyway, i've been ruminating about this blog for a week or so, and i think it's time to clean house, so to speak. i picked out a new template (it's saucy!) and i think i'm going to change my tack. expect more than the occasional semi-political diatribe and organized minutiae. instead, i'm going to try for things that interest me, but in an organic (read: haphazard) delivery so as to be more conversational. that's just how i roll.

Post Finals Post

2006-05-01T22:29:00.000-05:00

All is good in my brain for the first time in many moons. School is (mostly) over (for the semester), Starbucks is (mostly) over (forever, mostly), and I (mostly) have secured both and internship and a subletter! Huzzah! Bring me the finest meats and cheeses in all the land!

TV/Thief

2006-04-03T13:07:00.000-05:00

When I saw that the credit sequence was a direct homage/ripoff of the Sopranos' opening, I was extremely wary. Also the camerawork is a little wonky, like they were trying a bit too hard for grittiness. But the show brought me around, big time. It was an excellent first hour, and I'm definitely in for the next 5--it's only a six episode season--and next season if it gets picked up. Check it out if you don't have HBO, or if you're a fan of any of the other FX series (the Shield, Rescue Me, Nip/Tuck). Plot stuff down below, maybe spoilers, we'll see.

Nick (Braugher) is the titular thief, a patriarch of sorts to his odds-and-ends team of ne'er-do-wells, Elmo, Gabo, Jack, and Izzy. They steal stuff for a living, but not in a glitzy Oceans 11-style hustle. No, they're more of an old-fashioned smash-n-grab outfit. Operating out of Nick's classic car dealership in post-Katrina New Orleans, they work for Linda Hamilton and basically just try to get by. There's also a corrupt detective and some Chinese assassins from San Francisco who are after Nick and the boys for a job gone wrong. Oh, and that's not counting the drug addictions, unruly teenaged kids, pregnant wives, interracial marriages and loan sharks breathing down their necks. And George Clooney made it look so easy. Anyway, Braugher rocks, and I would watch him do anything if they put it on screen.

Follow My Orders

2006-04-02T08:09:00.000-05:00

I have an ActBlue page, I actually created it last semester, and just remembered it now. It's a great concept, but nobody I know has any money so it kind of goes to waste. You can see everybody I would vote for if I could change my residency at will. So that's kind of fun. And if you actually have a few hundred extra dollars lying around, why not give it to somebody on there? It's tax deductable!

A Seasonal Gripe

2006-04-01T15:49:00.000-05:00

I understand that the first few nice days here in Boston are to be cherished. They mark a yearly renaissance, when all the things that Bostonians thought they had forgotten how to do--smile, go outside, be nice to other people--are rediscovered and celebrated. But why, oh why, does everybody and their mother (and their waddling, frappuccino-craving spawn) have to go to Starbucks the instant the grey wintry clouds vanish from the skies? It's Starbucks, for chrissakes! I'll never get how this store can inspire the kind of loyalty I see every day. And yes, I know that I make the best damn espresso-based beverages in Boston. Of course I know, I'm the one who makes them so good. But honestly people, Diesel Cafe has excellent sandwiches, great coffee, more seating, and real ice cream, that they'll put right in your coffee! And it's right across the street. Listen, I know what goes into frappuccinos, and it sure as hell isn't ice cream.

Comments

2006-03-29T16:31:00.000-05:00

I understand that you have to have an account with blogger in order to post comments, but come on people, at least let me know if I have any readers. On second thought, maybe I don't even want to know. Hell, comment if you want to.

Coffee/1369 Coffeehouse (Inman Sq.)

2006-03-27T12:49:00.000-05:00

So, I also realized today that my little blurb over to the left talks about food, and I haven't mentioned it once (unless you count the beerfest, because beer is a food). And in the spirit of turning over things--new leaves, unturned stones, etc--here's a rip-roaring account of my trip to the 1369 Coffeehouse this morning!

On the sunny corner of Cambridge and Springfield streets in Cambridge there is an institution of sorts. But instead of crazy people like at MIT, this institution has nerds. Coffee nerds the likes of which can be found at just about any independent (i.e. not Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts) coffee shop in the city. They sip their macchiatos with deliberate pretension, smacking their lips in an extravagant, even obscene, display of contentedness--as if to say, "Ah, now that's the delicate yet robust taste of stickin' it to the man!" But the 1369 Coffeehouse is not just about proletarian capitalistic ideals. And yet, as much as conceited coffee connoisseurs annoy the piss out of me (SEE: Coffee/Someday Cafe (Davis Sq.) - Not Yet Written), I have to admit their choice of Inman Square venues is second-to-none. The cafe is medium-sized, with plenty of tables and people-watcher window bar seating. The lighting was perfect, with plenty of sun in front and cozier accomodations in the back. The music this morning was motown which I can hardly find fault with, and except for one dancing homeless man, the other customers seemed mild-mannered and intent on their various nerdery. Not to be left out, I got caught up on my reading for class while I enjoyed a blueberry muffin--not bad, not fantastic--and a double cappuccino--over-priced and under-foamed. So, to break it down, the atmosphere tops the offerings, at least on this go-round, but it seemed like a great place to read (or write) a book.

Update on Updates

2006-03-27T12:19:00.000-05:00

So this semester has been a bit different from last fall in terms of blogging. I still want to do it, but it doesn't seem to come up as often in my daily routine. So instead of posting three times a week, I've reduced it down to about once, and avoided presenting any actual information when I do manage to type something up. (Witness 300 words on my lamented but hardly noteworthy cell phone). Anyway, since I'm gearing up for the last few weeks leading into finals, I'm going to try to add a little structure to my life on the internets. With great ado, and no small amount of fanfare, I would like to present the new BeanSchedule (that I just thought up five minutes ago)!

Monday/Tuesday - Miscellania (people, places, things I want to meet, see, and do)

Wednesday/Thursday - Politics & Academia (what I'm studying/ranting about at the moment)

Friday - Entertainment (movies, tv, books, music, internets, dance?, arts & crafts?)

Weekend - Me time (anything else I'm doing that's worth mentioning)

So there you have it. A little reference for anyone who wants to know what to expect when they tune into my wavelengths. Needless to say, that's hardly set in stone, it's just a loose guide. Cheers.

Death of a Cellsman

2006-03-07T00:06:00.000-05:00

So before heading out the door to go to work this afternoon, I switched my trusty Nokia 3200 to silent mode and slipped it into my pocket, just as I usually do. A few hours later, during a rare lull in macchiatos, I took it out to check for messages (because I'm popular) and what have I discovered? It's dead. No life. Nary a digital twitch or phosphorescent glimmer to be seen.

Having just charged it, I was instantly suspicious. Had it been hacked bluetoothily by some ne'er-do-well in the cafe? Hmm, probably not. Had I somehow damaged it while it was "secure" in my pocket? Possibly, but difficult to be sure. I decided that it must be just dead, for no reason, struck down by a callous (cellphone) god, indifferent to my noki's interchangeable faceplates and oh-so-handy flashlight feature.

I mourned. I panicked. And then I checked the lost and found and discovered a treasure trove of discarded phones to run some trial and error tests with. After countless tests and exhaustive research, my phone's cause of death was determined to be the little piece that I could hear rattling around when I shook it. Like a blood clot that had broken loose, that piece made its way inexorably to my phone's heart. There was nothing anybody could have done.

The circle of (cellphone) life, however, goes on. One of the lost and found phones was a clunky, chunky old Nokia 3560 that used the same charger. A quick swap of the SIM card later and I was back in business with the same phone number, only minus all of my contacts and fun pictures. So, the moral of the story is, call, text, or email me your damn phone numbers.

P.S. I was looking for an excuse to switch to TMobile anyway, thanks capricious (cellphone) god!

Ye Gods

2006-03-01T01:29:00.000-05:00

Oh lordy, too busy. It's the run-up to spring break, and I am already behind on my project due next Thursday, so I don't have lots of time this week (except for Kingdom of Loathing, thanks Ben). But I wanted to do a couple of things real quickly:

1. It's Mardi Gras, and as much as I admire the pluck down in the Big Easy, I can't help but think things are gonna get even sadder before they get better.
2. It's Cecilia's Birthday (23), so happy birthday to her! I love you!
3. It's Amanda's Birthday on Thursday (25), so happy birthday to her!
4. The port thing is just politics, and bad politics at that. For the first time ever, I'm on the President's side.
5. And that saddens me, greatly.
6. And I'm going to bed.
7. Lastly, I'm dying to play a few rounds of 1000 Blank White Cards.

Chastised, But Not Beaten

2006-02-21T12:53:00.000-05:00

So, the metroblogging people made me feel bad about my utter lack of posts in the last few, er, months. And it is with great humility and much shameful scuffing of my feet that I can say I have again blogged for them. So go there and see. And then do it more often, cause I feel really guilty and want to give them hits.

Happy V-Day

2006-02-14T22:20:00.000-05:00

Oh, right, the holiday. I hope everybody thought about vagina in honor of ending violence against women. If not, you better get started, only 100 minutes left...

Utilitarianism

2006-02-14T22:09:00.000-05:00

So for class the past two weeks, we've been reading this book (The President of Good and Evil) by Peter Singer. This is the guy who said that morally speaking, humans are no different than animals (to think otherwise is speciesism), and that it is worse to kill an adult than an a baby (babies don't fear death). Compared to that, his take on President W is refreshingly mainstream--Singer doesn't much like the man--although his reasons are considerably different than most peoples'. He thinks that the president is ethically inconsistent and that his moral development is significantly arrested (at the level of a teenage boy, if you're interested).

Anyway, for a Princeton professor (I'm looking at you, Jacob Hacker) his book was pretty lively. A solid read, with an interesting way to look at politics and politicians. Here's an article he wrote for the Times about what you--yes, you--can do to stop world poverty. And here are links to UNICEF and Oxfam America when you need them.

Hilarious Update:
I just found this article about Singer's book about euthanasia that not only references Mein Kampf and Josef Mengele in the same paragraph (gee, I wonder if they got the point across?), but also has a quote from Troy McClure! I was hoping for "Hello, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such self-help videos as Smoke Yourself Thin and Get Confident, Stupid!" but sadly it was some crap about dying. I miss Phil Hartman.

Because I Needed a New Way to Waste Time

2006-02-07T20:29:00.000-05:00

For Christmas this year, I got a digital camera and a flickr account--well the account I just signed up for, but the point is that I can now entertain myself by pretending I can take pictures. With that in mind, here are the few I took this month that I think are good enough to show people.

snowy day
34th & 8th

I think it's easiest to start with things like buildings and architecture and geometry, really easy stuff to frame and evoke in a still picture. The rest probably comes with time. Probably.

Anyway, I've got some good political (even polemical) stuff to write about in the next few days, but my weekends are booked and I have tons of reading to do, so it might take a little while.

Things to think about 'til next post:
Extreme Beer Fest is only four days away!
Valentine's Day is only three days after that.
Massachusetts caucuses were last Saturday--did you vote?
If the NSA reads your emails, will they be entertained?

State of the Union

2006-01-31T12:18:00.000-05:00

Because if I watched sober, I would probably cry, here's the 2006 State of the Union Drinking Gam e!

Happy New Year, Etc.

2006-01-31T12:05:00.000-05:00

Man, it's been a long time, hasn't it? I bet the rumour going around was that I had given up on my new blog already, thrown in the towel, and gone back to reading inane chatter instead of writing it. Nothing could be further from the truth! I was just on vacation. And so, a quick recap of the past month (yes, I know a six-week month is a statistical anomaly, but what can you do?)

Late December:
I rocked my finals, went home for Christmas (which made it through another season of brutal attacks thanks in large part to Mr. O'Reilly's tireless efforts), paid homage to the ski-lift stanchion that (probably) gave me a concussion, drank a lot, avoided the news, avoided the many year-end lists of best movies, music, books, beers, hairstyles, blogs, and what-have-you, and went to CT for some hot new year's action.

Early January:
I became a temporary hermit, indulged myself in fantasy/sf books, drank a lot, fantasized about moving to California, watched season one of Veronica Mars three times (my own form of televangelism), avoided the news, avoided my blog, and went to DC to eat good food and help my girlfriend move.

Late January:
I went back to school, spent lots of money on textbooks, fantasized about moving to California, DC, New York, Jamaica Plain, Jamaica, Argentina, and Corfu (not necessarily in that order), marvelled over the weather, drank a lot, ended the new TV drought with Lost, 24, VM, Scrubs, and Battlestar Galactica (everyone kept telling me to watch it, and now everyone can shut up, because yes, it's great), and went to NYC for Kingfest 2006.

And there you have it. I expect to undertake a more normal schedule of ranting and raving henceforth.

...And a Happy, um, Birthday, Mom!

2005-12-18T15:58:00.001-05:00

And belated happy birthdays to Becca Goettsche and Liz Griegg, wherever the hell they are.

Merry Christmas

2005-12-18T15:58:00.000-05:00

My tree! It's even better in person.

It Will Be My Bad

2005-12-06T16:04:00.000-05:00

Sorry folks, but it's about to get a whole lot sparser here. Pre-finals plus Ceciliannukah plus finals plus christmas equals not a lot of posts. Happy December.

This is Why I Don't Listen to KISS 108 (Also, They Don't Play Nearly Enough Young Jeezy)

2005-12-02T11:48:00.000-05:00

On November 18th, Representative Jean Schmidt (R-OH) called fellow Representative John Murtha (D-PA) a coward, in so many words, because he came forward and said we should leave Iraq (you may have heard about it). Because Congresswoman Schmidt is a demented loon, she either didn't realize or didn't care that Representative Murtha is a heavily-decorated Vietnam veteran who is held in immensely high esteem by pretty much everyone. Anyway, she withdrew her comments amid a hail of shaming articles and op-eds, and despite Presidential support--which wasn't really a shock to anyone, since character assassination is the administration's #1 tactic and they're pretty sure to endorse it wherever they find it.

The Democrats got their act together and decided to actually try and grab some political capital out of the whole episode, and paid to run some billboards in Rep. Schmidt's home district (Cincinnatti). All was going well, the DNC raised the money for them, and then yesterday, Lamar Advertising (which is the largest owner of billboards in the country) refused to run the ads. It turns out this isn't the only time Lamar has turned down contracted advertisements. My old hometown paper The Times Leader has an article about Lamar refusing to run billboards against Pennsylvania state politicians that they had donated money to. That's not just censorship, or defaulting on contracts, it's downright questionable. Who wants to make a bet that Lamar's Reilly brothers (CEO Kevin and COO Sean) gave money to Schmidt? Onward to the FEC's PoliticalMoneyLine!

It's Never Too Early...

2005-12-01T13:34:00.000-05:00

I think it's safe to say that everybody who went to the New England Beer Fest a few weeks back had a fantastic time. (The waffles alone...)* Well, buckle on your beer helmets, because the next fest is just around the corner.

Speaking of, if you haven't become a beer advocate yet, what's stopping you?

*Although my personal high point was definitely the hangover-banishing pizza on sunday afternoon. Hot damn!

Shameless Promotion

2005-12-01T13:20:00.000-05:00

So, I decide to start blogging again, and immediately fail to keep to any sort of schedule of posts. I figure being a reliable blogger should come second to being an interesting blogger. Now, upholding that end of the deal is no easy thing, either. But I'm trying my best here, so chill out.

And in the spirit of biting off more than I can chew, I just got "hired" as a blogger over at
Metroblogging Boston. Congratulations are in order, I believe.

Since they discourage crossposting over there, and since all things boston are kind of their purview, I think I'll try to give most beantown-specific posts to them. Which means my little space of the interwebs here gets more of my internal ramblings, and I'll just link over there whenever I put up something good. Or at all.

P.S. "hired" is in quotes because I'm not being paid. And the application process wasn't exactly "rigorous."

This Week in Blah-ging

2005-11-30T12:50:00.000-05:00

I can't seem to get myself together this week. Maybe it's the post-holiday comedown, or too much eggnog (or not enough eggnog), but it's been a total nonstarter, and here it is Wednesday already. My professor this morning said that getting people to read their assignments at the end of the semester is always the hardest time, and I can vouch for not wanting to do any work at all. It doesn't help that the weather since last week has been a nonstop gloomfest, with rain and humidity vying daily to see which can bring me down further. On top of that, I seem to be tired and enervated pretty much all the time. I need a turnaround and I need it now, because I have a paper due Monday (Thanks, surprise-extension fairy!) and a long list of things that need to get done pretty much now, and definitely by next thursday (aka Ceciliannukah). Everybody around me seems to be in the same kind of funk, too. And coffee is no longer cutting it, more's the pity.

At least there's Christmas music at work to keep me going. And holiday beers!

Oh, the weather outside is frightful (true, though hardly wintry)
dum-di-dum, delightful

Vocabulary Break

2005-11-27T17:19:00.000-05:00

fac·to·tum (fặk-tō'tәm) n.

An employee or assistant who serves in a wide range of capacities.

Friday's on My Mind

2005-11-21T12:09:00.000-05:00

So, instead of working on Friday, I went with my professor and a couple of undergraduates to a lecture by Yale professor and New America Fellow Jacob Hacker. I read one of his books for class and the new one was all over the blogs a few weeks ago. He's also something of a blogger himself, once in a while, and can be found on tpmcafe and polysigh. His lecture was good, but very dense and heavy on the statistics. So heavy it seemed that Prof. Hacker hadn't finished parsing them yet.

He's writing a new book on the privatization of risk--how, in America today, the burden of risk (and the consequences of that risk) has shifted from the government and corporations to individuals and families. Now, he made it a point to mention that he's speaking in very specific terms about risk, namely the risks inherent in the health insurance industry (shift of risk/responsibility from insurance companies/hmos to individuals) and in the private retirement insurance industry (from governmental responsibility--through Social Security and regulated corporate account--to individuals through tax-sheltered IRAs and 401(k)s and Bush-beloved private accounts). The gist of his argument is not only that this shift has taken place since the last expansion of the Social Security Act (ERISA, in 1974), but that when the consequences of that risk come due, individuals and families are placed under enormous stresses and burdens. The most telling figure of the lecture was that 20% of individuals/families who experience a major health-related expenditure are subsequently forced below the poverty line when paying for it, regardless of pre-expenditure insurance level. A tragically absurd statistic that really drives home some of the realities of health care in America today.

On a lighter note, going to lectures at Harvard is a gratuitously humbling experience. Just sitting in that room, I felt a little out of place (I think I was the only one wearing sneakers) and even though I can't recognize the faces of leading political scientists yet (and a part of me hopes that I never can), I'm pretty sure a good handful of them were at the table across from me. Needless to say, I didn't ask any questions.

Metablogging in Boston

2005-11-18T11:58:00.000-05:00

For about a week now, I've been trying to round up a good selection of Boston-based blogs to check on a semi-daily basis (about the same regularity as my posts), and I was having some problems. It turns out there are plenty (949, according to boston-online) of Boston blogs out there, but it's tough to find the good ones. Here's what I've got so far.

General Boston
the bostonist
universal hub
hub blog

Politics
left center left

The T
badtransit

Starbucks (sadly defunct)
Bostonia

Everything else seems to be focused on national stuff, personal stuff (which is for a future list), or boring stuff. Feel free to tell me otherwise though, you know I love that.

It's Good to Believe in Fridays Again

2005-11-18T10:50:00.000-05:00

We had an interesting discussion in class this morning, where I surprised myself by being anti-teacher. The topic was public schooling versus private schooling, and the debate was over school voucher programs and the concept of controlled choice in schooling. Controlled choice is basically when parents are able to list the schools in order of preference for their child. When this takes place in traditional school districts, and it usually involves inter-district choice. When there happens to be more than one high/middle/elementary school in a district is where it starts to get interesting. And when you add in the increasing (and increasingly laudable) charter/magnet school population, then you start to really have a system where market forces can actually do some good--unlike the traditional voucher examples, where the market would probably destroy some neighborhood schools while shifting the problem to others.

Anyway, that's all background. The meat of the issue is that I don't think overhauling the system is the answer. Or that I don't think it's enough of the answer to justify spending billions of taxpayer dollars on those kind of reforms, yet. I think the real problem is teachers. Not all of them, and certainly not just them, but the state of the teaching corps in the country is in desperate need of some reform. Teaching should be one of the most sought-after postitions in the economy. Teachers should be well-rewarded, rigorously trained, and held to exactingly high standards. Even more crucially, teachers should love their job, and I mean eat, sleep, and breathe teaching. They should be happy, enthusiastic, knowledgable, and completely backed up by all the resources the government has to offer.

The public image (especially among recent college graduates) of teaching as a profession needs to be revamped so that the best and brightest among us will see teaching not as résumé-padding or a ticket out of student loan debt, but as a field in which they can be happy, proud, successful, and motivated to succeed, not to mention focused on preparing the next generation of minds for intellectual and civic engagement. Trying to change the nature of public education without changing the recruitment, retention, and infrastructure of the teacher corps is a kind of big-picture myopia.

P.S.

2005-11-15T01:20:00.000-05:00

I also got my ass handed to me by Zawada in fantasy football. Stupid Tom Brady. Man, I hate the Patriots. And Zawada.

A Very Long and Uneventful Weekend

2005-11-15T00:18:00.000-05:00

Wherein I also avoided all news. Today though, I changed my tune to one a little more uptempo. I read a whole bunch of junk, including the Somerville News (apparently, Somerville High School rules!). I mostly learned that Sarah Silverman is funny, Howard Dean is good at his job, and James Carroll is bad at his (registration required). Here's what i jotted down after reading Carroll's op-ed, my initial thoughts and reaction:

Mr. Carroll argues that the dichotomy between public and private morality in politicians is nothing more than political cover, a beard to interest groups who potentially control large blocs of votes. In Governor-elect Kaine’s case, that means that his professed private opposition to the death penalty, true or not, only matters as it relates to his public stance that it is the law in Virginia and if necessary, he will enforce that law. This analysis misses the point that Mr. Kaine’s willingness to subsume his moral objections comes not from a need to pander but from a clear ethical obligation. It’s his job to enforce and execute Virginia’s laws, not to legislate from the Governor’s office. The problem with Mr. Carroll’s argument is that the ethical ground here is far firmer than he would have us believe. The concerns of the Virginians that elected Mr. Kaine will have to trump his personal moral foibles until and unless he can change his citizens’ (or his legislators’) minds. He knew when he ran for Governor that enforcing the death penalty would probably be required of him, no matter his moral objections to it. And it looks like the people of Virginia have decided that they need both Mr. Kaine and the death penalty and he is required to fulfill both of those needs to the best of his ability.

I'm more than sure that there are holes in my logic and I'm equally sure that my rule about ethics in the political workplace is anything but universal. But in Kaine's situation (and in executive positions in general), I think that the responsibility of the officeholder to the imperatives of the electorate come before his or her personal morals. I have much the same view about Judges. It seems like an essential tradeoff to maintain the rule of law.

One caveat though, the imperatives of the electorate aren't always the same things as the desires of the electorate. The real questions to be asking of Tim Kaine and politicians everywhere are whether they can distinguish between the two and if they are willing to go against the latter to provide for the former.

WriMo Update

2005-11-11T14:37:00.000-05:00

1,144 words, 850 words short of my all-time NaNo record, and only 48,850 words short of finishing! Yes!

Oh Yeah, The Crazies Lost Too

2005-11-10T20:30:00.000-05:00

Mike, Emily, and The New York Times all tell me that I missed one of the most important election results out there: the total sweep of the Dover, PA school board seats by the DoverCARES slate. Now that's education reform! Too bad the district they just took over is going to have to pay massive amounts of money to the plaintiffs when they lose the lawsuit. And then the real losers will be the students whose school can't afford textbooks or art supplies or computers or gifted classes all because their neighbors are intellectually brain-dead. Have fun in community college!

Radioactive Election Fallout (for the Right)

2005-11-10T20:25:00.000-05:00

Due Diligence (with help from Nancy Pelosi) connects the dots between tuesday's results and today's implosion of the Let's-Give-The-Rich-More-Money-And-Destroy-America-Too Act. Good fun.

Op-ed Danger!

2005-11-10T12:38:00.000-05:00

Yesterday in the Globe, Jeff Jacoby let forth a spume (registration required) of anti-privacy invective, tracing society's current privacy obsession to--what else?--activist judges. Conservative boilerplate is wicked tiresome, huh? Far be it for me to rebut the legislating-from-the-bench meme, though I have a hunch it was old back when Griswold v. Connecticut was decided in 1965. Jacoby tells us that Griswold enshrined the ambiguous "right" to privacy in the Constitution and led more-or-less directly to Roe's decision eight years later. As obnoxious as Jacoby is, he has about half of a point here: the Constitution says next to nothing about privacy.

This is one of those rare times when the document shows its age. The founders could not possibly have envisioned a time when privacy would need to be protected the way it is now. They guaranteed the sanctity of the home and personal property, but gave not a thought to digital privacy, wiretapping, or public video cameras. Today, while privacy is not sanctioned in the Constitution, it exists as a series of powerful decades-long precedents (much like Roe itself) that would be difficult to overturn even if it were politically feasable (it's not). The quote from Justice Black at the end is interesting in Jacoby's context, but again, Black was on the bench until 1971 and had no knowledge, let alone prescience, into the digital age. Plus he was the Conservative movement's favorite animal, a strict constructionist, which while not always a bad thing, comes hand in hand with a certain inflexibility.

P.S. Jeff, your objections to protection of privacy would carry more water if you hadn't gone on the record defending it four years ago.