i guess it’s true what they say, as long as what they say is “miller high life tastes like old paint.” on saturday, cecilia’s brother was in town to visit and we did all the usual touristy things: walk around, go to urban outfitters, grab a cheap haircut at the hair cuttery in dupont, and last but not least, head to asylum for quarter beer night!
every week, at 5pm sharp, asylum, the vegan biker bar, fills up with the poor and the very poor and the alcoholic for a night of bargain basement debauchery. 12-oz plastic cups of high life start at just $.25 and go up $.50 every hour afterwards until they reach their market price or everybody drinks themselves blind, whichever comes first.
in my case, absolute disgust with the corn-syrupy-sweet, utterly bland taste of high life led me to instigate a revolt (ok, cecilia’s comic inability to down the stuff didn’t hurt either) and order a round of delirium tremens for the table. and it was a damn good thing too, because after finding a chip of glass in one of them, we got all four for free! huzzah for potential injury!
needless to say, the good beer revived our spirits immensely and when waitress andrea (wasn’t she on a reality show? we wondered. although not me, because the only reality tv i watch is project runway, 30 days (it’s back!), and the food network. i don’t think andrea was heidi klum in disguise…) asked out of the blue if we wanted to do some carbombs. yes, andrea. we do.
i barely remember stumbling down 18th st. to dupont, though i do recall landing heavily in a booth in the big hunt. this is all around 9-ish, so the place is pretty dead. we order a greased-out pizza and proceed to watch cecilia’s brother get more and more out-of-it. and he’s the only one still in college! why, back in my day, collegians could hold their liquor, damn it. he rebounds enough to sing along with the cabby on the ride back to the hill, but when we get there we find that every fucking bar has gone and closed up by ten on a saturday! what the fuck, dc? isn’t getting bombed at cap lounge worth a little rain? honestly, i’m a little ashamed for you guys.
and that’s not all we have to be ashamed about, because a few minutes later we forced the closing crew at some mexican place down on pennsylvania to let us in for one last drink. i don’t know about you, but to me, 5 sodden, boozy twenty-somethings miserably cutching coronas in an empty, over-air-conditioned taqueria spells p-a-r-t-y! hells yeah. let’s just say we were happy to get home and forget it ever happened.
Showing posts with label i'm a lush. Show all posts
Showing posts with label i'm a lush. Show all posts
7.12.2006
playing catch up
i just wanted to say that i’m alive and well. it’s been a busy week, with lots of running around and whatnot. quick updates are go!
- i saw a hawk swoop off of a building and snatch up a pigeon right out of a fountain! huzzah for nature!
- i also saw chuck hagel (r)-ne give what can only be described as the foundation of his stump speech. i can only hope that the q&a—wherein a college sophomore grilled him about his voting record and anwar—will be imitated on meet the press in two years.
- i can chalk up another two successes in my personal proselytizing of the joy that is veronica mars.
- i was wicked disappointed by the final of the cup. now i get to count down the weeks until real football season begins. time to start scouting my fantasy team…
- i saw pirates 2 and enron: the smartest guys in the room over the weekend and was thoroughly impressed by each of them for entirely different reasons. needless to say, my sympathies lie far more with actual pirates than with corporate ones.
- and lastly, after a night of debauchery to be proud of on saturday—i came home wearing somebody else’s pants—i can safely say i will never drink again. until 6pm.
7.05.2006
forefathers be proud
happy birthday america!
the 4th of july is an odd duck of a holiday. not so much in the reasons for its existence, but more in the way it’s celebrated. is bbq-ing american? sure it is, unless you count all of the other cultures—africans, arabs, asians—who beat us to it. there’s also the pesky fact that holding raw meat over open fire may very well be the oldest form of cooking there is. it’s so easy, a caveman could do it. sure, they didn’t have frozen burger patties and individually wrapped cheese slices back then (it took america to individually wrap its cheese, by gum!), so i guess we can lay our claim to the experience if not the method. but is grilling really any more american than frying things? kfc and paula deen probably don’t think so. we can probably call the fish-fry an authentic american experience, and it’s even appropriately summery, but i don’t think it’ll ever catch on as a 4th staple.
also, when the temperature rises, there’s a certain segment of the population (myself included) that will always reach for one specific beer—la corona! That’s just an inviolable fact of summer. and despite the overall (and also inviolable) blandness of the corona, i have yet to find an american lager that a) combines as well with limes and b) refreshes quite so perfectly. sure if push came to shove, i would sell my cervezas down the river for a pint of harpoon summer, but sadly, that miracle beer hasn’t made to my little corner of the swamp that is dc. anyway, the point is that our nation’s birthday is doomed by its own summer date to be celebrated with mexican beer. (don’t worry, america, my coronas were in celebration of their election, not your birthday!)
lastly, fireworks. we all know blowing things up is as american as apple pie. but the chinese invented fireworks! and yes, i suppose if there’s one thing america does better than any other country, it’s appropriate culture and assimilate people. all things considered though, there’s not one thing about this holiday that’s actually american (not counting mike’s supersnack)! we even had tortilla chips (mexico again) and pretzels (dutch or german, i don’t know).
i guess what I’m trying to say is, good job america! this holiday has actually shown me that we can thank the various immigrants we’ve had over the centuries, because i’m pretty sure that without them we’d be eating deep-fried cheetos and setting off real bombs every year.
the 4th of july is an odd duck of a holiday. not so much in the reasons for its existence, but more in the way it’s celebrated. is bbq-ing american? sure it is, unless you count all of the other cultures—africans, arabs, asians—who beat us to it. there’s also the pesky fact that holding raw meat over open fire may very well be the oldest form of cooking there is. it’s so easy, a caveman could do it. sure, they didn’t have frozen burger patties and individually wrapped cheese slices back then (it took america to individually wrap its cheese, by gum!), so i guess we can lay our claim to the experience if not the method. but is grilling really any more american than frying things? kfc and paula deen probably don’t think so. we can probably call the fish-fry an authentic american experience, and it’s even appropriately summery, but i don’t think it’ll ever catch on as a 4th staple.
also, when the temperature rises, there’s a certain segment of the population (myself included) that will always reach for one specific beer—la corona! That’s just an inviolable fact of summer. and despite the overall (and also inviolable) blandness of the corona, i have yet to find an american lager that a) combines as well with limes and b) refreshes quite so perfectly. sure if push came to shove, i would sell my cervezas down the river for a pint of harpoon summer, but sadly, that miracle beer hasn’t made to my little corner of the swamp that is dc. anyway, the point is that our nation’s birthday is doomed by its own summer date to be celebrated with mexican beer. (don’t worry, america, my coronas were in celebration of their election, not your birthday!)
lastly, fireworks. we all know blowing things up is as american as apple pie. but the chinese invented fireworks! and yes, i suppose if there’s one thing america does better than any other country, it’s appropriate culture and assimilate people. all things considered though, there’s not one thing about this holiday that’s actually american (not counting mike’s supersnack)! we even had tortilla chips (mexico again) and pretzels (dutch or german, i don’t know).
i guess what I’m trying to say is, good job america! this holiday has actually shown me that we can thank the various immigrants we’ve had over the centuries, because i’m pretty sure that without them we’d be eating deep-fried cheetos and setting off real bombs every year.
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