alright, listen up coffee gods! i did your damn dirty work for far too long to have to put up with this shit! make the someday café into a crepe place? you might as well make it a chipotle, asshats!
ok, ok, i don’t even like the place very much (sorry, jen). but i do recognize that a lot people think it rocks their socks off, and that it’s not populated exclusively by anti-establishment zealots with nothing better to do than look down on me for having a real (i.e. horrible) job just for the health insurance. after all, coffee shops cannot be (entirely) blamed for the cockbites who have nowhere else to go because they had to choose between paying rent on their apartments and rent on the practice space for their band (that is this close to being signed, dude, seriously). there might be a few someday patrons who aren’t like that. of course, they would never stick up for me, because they’re craven, hipster, myspace riffraff and too dependent on approval from their poorly coiffed pack leaders. not that i’m bitter or anything.
i don’t even mind the rampant antistarbucksism. it’s the evolution from there to antidanbecauseheworksatstarbucksism that gets my dander up. it’s like i always say, “don’t hate the playa, hate the game!” Asshats.
p.s. gus, i know you don’t remember me, but one time i got stoned in the basement of the toscanini’s i worked at. it was my first day.
p.p.s. someday café, get some new goddamn couches already.
p.p.p.s. coffee gods, praise and glory be to your wonderful *cough*addictive*cough* gifts! this loyal acolyte will have your ritual sacrifice ready no matter what you do to destroy my beloved davis square! caffelujah!*
*until i can discover how to usurp your power and take my place among you mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
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