tomorrow morning, whether you like it or not, the quarterfinals of the world cup begin! now, in my last copa post, I endorsed a few teams, based on my own deep-seated prejudices. and, they all lost except for argentina.
sweden – lost to germany
ecuador – lost to england
mexico - lost to argentina
australia – lost to italy (which was bullshit!)
ghana – lost to brazil
i prefer to think of this less as my own failure to pick good teams, then as divine provenance for cecilia’s countrymen to, yes, go all the way! viva argentina! boo, deutschland! i don’t care if you got past the whole fascist thing way before the argentines did, you’re gonna eat it come 11am.
6.29.2006
it's my precious money
and these clowns aren't getting any of it. i got an email today that i'm sure everybody over the age of 22 is quite familiar with.
You should take pride in knowing that the ***** Class of 2003 has an impeccable reputation for setting new ***** Fund participation records each year.
say what? i should take pride? in what? i seriously can't believe these guys--they didn't do much for me when i went to college, let alone now that i'm done with them. whatever happened to that fabled alumni network? it's no wonder i'm out of touch with reality when my dear old alma mater can't even remember that they told me i couldn't graduate! thanks a million, guys! you're not getting a cent, see you in hell!
meanwhile, in far more worthwhile college news, we'll all be in debt until we die. i mean it, so let's all stop kidding ourselves. for our parents--yes, i assume everybody is my age, shut up about it--debt was something that they could actually afford to be without. and while i know a few people who manage their debt obsessively, for me it has never been realistic to be debt-free. working for starbucks (or similarly wage slaving retail outlets), you never have the opportunity to build a cushion of savings. so, when for whatever reason--flying to see your girlfriend, stolen bike--you fall just behind on your cell phone bill or don't quite have the funds to cover your expenses, you reach for that magic little rectangle of plastic. i'm not talking about shopping addiction, i'm talking about necessary--for food, shelter, and sanity--spending.
anyway, now that i'm back in school, my debt has ballooned back into the tens of thousands of dollars even as my day-to-day finances are far less precarious (thanks to loans). it's a tricky situation that can very easily fade into the background of more pressing issues.
and the truth is that the conservative movement has been working tirelessly for decades to shift the burdens of financial risk away from the government, the banks, and businesses and onto the individual. the amount of available scholarships and grants has decreased dramatically even as more people are applying to college than ever before. that means more loans, and as the above article tells us, those are getting riskier too. my mom--a former director of sallie mae--used to warn me every day about going into default. the worst thing i could do for myself, she said, pounding home not only that these loans could ruin my life, but that they sure as hell weren't going anywhere. fifteen years is pretty standard, and by then i should have mountains of new debt--car loans, maybe a mortgage, a home equity loan, a small business loan--to make my current figure look like chump change.
You should take pride in knowing that the ***** Class of 2003 has an impeccable reputation for setting new ***** Fund participation records each year.
say what? i should take pride? in what? i seriously can't believe these guys--they didn't do much for me when i went to college, let alone now that i'm done with them. whatever happened to that fabled alumni network? it's no wonder i'm out of touch with reality when my dear old alma mater can't even remember that they told me i couldn't graduate! thanks a million, guys! you're not getting a cent, see you in hell!
meanwhile, in far more worthwhile college news, we'll all be in debt until we die. i mean it, so let's all stop kidding ourselves. for our parents--yes, i assume everybody is my age, shut up about it--debt was something that they could actually afford to be without. and while i know a few people who manage their debt obsessively, for me it has never been realistic to be debt-free. working for starbucks (or similarly wage slaving retail outlets), you never have the opportunity to build a cushion of savings. so, when for whatever reason--flying to see your girlfriend, stolen bike--you fall just behind on your cell phone bill or don't quite have the funds to cover your expenses, you reach for that magic little rectangle of plastic. i'm not talking about shopping addiction, i'm talking about necessary--for food, shelter, and sanity--spending.
anyway, now that i'm back in school, my debt has ballooned back into the tens of thousands of dollars even as my day-to-day finances are far less precarious (thanks to loans). it's a tricky situation that can very easily fade into the background of more pressing issues.
and the truth is that the conservative movement has been working tirelessly for decades to shift the burdens of financial risk away from the government, the banks, and businesses and onto the individual. the amount of available scholarships and grants has decreased dramatically even as more people are applying to college than ever before. that means more loans, and as the above article tells us, those are getting riskier too. my mom--a former director of sallie mae--used to warn me every day about going into default. the worst thing i could do for myself, she said, pounding home not only that these loans could ruin my life, but that they sure as hell weren't going anywhere. fifteen years is pretty standard, and by then i should have mountains of new debt--car loans, maybe a mortgage, a home equity loan, a small business loan--to make my current figure look like chump change.
6.28.2006
oh hell
here i've been in washington for a month now, and i can't help but feel that i have astonishingly little to show for it. not that that's anything new, mind you. i have very little to show for all of my 25(!) years on this funktified orb i call home. sometimes (not often, i admit) it's enough to actually get me down--much like spending hours complaining about the rain and then, when the sun finally decides to shine, i am forced (by my sense of responsiblity! thanks mom.) to spend 8 hours at work and 3 at class. this 9-5 stuff is for the birds.
quick aside about class, then back to whingeing:
so, i think it's pretty clear that i am young at heart. but in my wednesday night class, i am the oldest person in the room (not counting ms. marjorie "i met alexandra pelosi once...once!" kline). also, i am the only one in grad school, where i learned how to "contribute to class discussion" and "talk out of my ass about things like tim russert's eyebrows" still, despite my prodigious verbalizin' skillz, i don't know how long i can go on carrying the damn class. speak up, undergrads! i'm not even getting a grade and i'm kicking your early-twenties asses up and down the aisles in class participation. while solving the crossword. and looking mighty fine. and composing haiku in my head.
here's one:
longest summer days
in class, a waste of beer time
maybe bratwursts too
whingeing:
that actually cheered me up quite a bit. i also realized that the creative parts of my brain are working overtime (two novel ideas in a month? unprecedented!) and what really has me down is my lack of actually getting writing done.
and i was all set to complain about having nothing to blog about except the oh-so-uninteresting life of an off-the-hill intern. i have to "work on the website" this week since our legislative agenda is on hold til after the 4th recess. and nobody told me that the newsletter deadline was monday this week (dude, i had a lecture. i can't be held responsible). also the website just got hacked by a teletubby, so there goes any hope of being productive today. i didn't get a picture of the teletubby itself (it had some good news about noo noo) but a little while later, they hacked us again. this time to endorse firefox (my favorite browser!) and decry microsoft.
if the movie hackers taught me anything, it's that every wired-in misanthrope either looks like jonny lee miller or angelina jolie and they fly through the internets on virtual skateboards. also, they're probably jerks who dress like they're on acid. so, thanks, hacker, for pointing out our vulnerability. now run along, you're probably late to algebra class.
quick aside about class, then back to whingeing:
so, i think it's pretty clear that i am young at heart. but in my wednesday night class, i am the oldest person in the room (not counting ms. marjorie "i met alexandra pelosi once...once!" kline). also, i am the only one in grad school, where i learned how to "contribute to class discussion" and "talk out of my ass about things like tim russert's eyebrows" still, despite my prodigious verbalizin' skillz, i don't know how long i can go on carrying the damn class. speak up, undergrads! i'm not even getting a grade and i'm kicking your early-twenties asses up and down the aisles in class participation. while solving the crossword. and looking mighty fine. and composing haiku in my head.
here's one:
longest summer days
in class, a waste of beer time
maybe bratwursts too
whingeing:
that actually cheered me up quite a bit. i also realized that the creative parts of my brain are working overtime (two novel ideas in a month? unprecedented!) and what really has me down is my lack of actually getting writing done.
and i was all set to complain about having nothing to blog about except the oh-so-uninteresting life of an off-the-hill intern. i have to "work on the website" this week since our legislative agenda is on hold til after the 4th recess. and nobody told me that the newsletter deadline was monday this week (dude, i had a lecture. i can't be held responsible). also the website just got hacked by a teletubby, so there goes any hope of being productive today. i didn't get a picture of the teletubby itself (it had some good news about noo noo) but a little while later, they hacked us again. this time to endorse firefox (my favorite browser!) and decry microsoft.
if the movie hackers taught me anything, it's that every wired-in misanthrope either looks like jonny lee miller or angelina jolie and they fly through the internets on virtual skateboards. also, they're probably jerks who dress like they're on acid. so, thanks, hacker, for pointing out our vulnerability. now run along, you're probably late to algebra class.
6.26.2006
dogs and cats, living together...
we had some epic rainfall in washington this weekend, practically biblical. as much as i love a good rainstorm (and who doesn't?) it was all a bit too much. especially when i woke up to discover that the subway tunnels had flooded on the orange/blue and green/yellow lines!
i mean, what the hell? this is a city built on a swamp, in the middle of a floodplain! shouldn't they be prepared for a little rain? i'm not a big fan of riding in the rain, mostly because my tires suck and i don't have fenders, so wet pavement equals wet accident waiting to happen. but when i discovered that the damn subway had flooded i figured i had to go for it.
big mistake. it turns out the bible allusion earlier was dead on because the situation on dc's roads this morning was straight out of the end of days. a few stoplights lose power and mass anarchy descends on the nation's capitol. i genuinely (sort of) feared for my life on the morning commute.
i mean, what the hell? this is a city built on a swamp, in the middle of a floodplain! shouldn't they be prepared for a little rain? i'm not a big fan of riding in the rain, mostly because my tires suck and i don't have fenders, so wet pavement equals wet accident waiting to happen. but when i discovered that the damn subway had flooded i figured i had to go for it.
big mistake. it turns out the bible allusion earlier was dead on because the situation on dc's roads this morning was straight out of the end of days. a few stoplights lose power and mass anarchy descends on the nation's capitol. i genuinely (sort of) feared for my life on the morning commute.
6.23.2006
sudden death
yes, more world cup posts. for now, it's on my mind. more diverse material this weekend probably, if i can find the time between games to post.
the first round is ending even as i type this up. sixteen teams have been eliminated, including the once-proud usa. maybe being utterly embarrassed to the tune of 0-2-1 will engender a little humility on the world stage. but probably not. anyway, i'm not in this business to make predictions, just to revel in being a biased fan. i'm rooting for argentina (for cecilia), australia (for kate), ghana (go africa!), mexico (go concacaf!), sweden (vodka and blondes), and ecuador (because they're scrappy).
the first round is ending even as i type this up. sixteen teams have been eliminated, including the once-proud usa. maybe being utterly embarrassed to the tune of 0-2-1 will engender a little humility on the world stage. but probably not. anyway, i'm not in this business to make predictions, just to revel in being a biased fan. i'm rooting for argentina (for cecilia), australia (for kate), ghana (go africa!), mexico (go concacaf!), sweden (vodka and blondes), and ecuador (because they're scrappy).
6.21.2006
do you have it? is it catching?
it's world cup fever (also known as soccerhea, the futbolic plague, and antibrazilitis). cases have been reported worldwide in only the past week. medical experts are at a loss as to the methodolgy of this new pathogen, but leading theories suggest it may be passed on by chanting, singing, dancing, and flag-waving in large groups. dr. gupta has been studying the effects of soccerhea since the first cases were reported in the united states in 1991, after the women's national team won their first world cup.
"we are heartened to see that even as the number of cases has increased in recent months," he told us here at the bean, "the number of fatalities has dropped to almost zero. with continued hard work, and a little luck, we can turn soccerhea from a deadly scourge to a mild, but permanent, annoyance. like herpes."
symptoms include (but are not limited to):
face-painting
sweaty palms
jersey buying
score checking
nausea (before games, during tied matches)
play-by-play addiction
hoarse voice
registering with recreational soccer team
web sites with more info:
stage 2 chart
who should i cheer for?
new york times world cup blog
"we are heartened to see that even as the number of cases has increased in recent months," he told us here at the bean, "the number of fatalities has dropped to almost zero. with continued hard work, and a little luck, we can turn soccerhea from a deadly scourge to a mild, but permanent, annoyance. like herpes."
symptoms include (but are not limited to):
face-painting
sweaty palms
jersey buying
score checking
nausea (before games, during tied matches)
play-by-play addiction
hoarse voice
registering with recreational soccer team
web sites with more info:
stage 2 chart
who should i cheer for?
new york times world cup blog
6.20.2006
there's always somebody better
(or at least more established)
yes, matt yglesias at tpmcafe has distilled what i was saying last week about political blogs and the mainstream media into a far more cogent analysis (he also uses the word "technoutopianism" which is awesome). isn't he dreamy? someday yglesias, someday...
p.s. i was going to post my eloquent plea to rep. capuano about taking the moveon.org oil-free pledge, but i forgot to copy it before i sent it. stupid! still imagine a few pithy yet poignant paragraphs of persuasion and that's pretty much what it was. oh, and send one yourself, slacker.
yes, matt yglesias at tpmcafe has distilled what i was saying last week about political blogs and the mainstream media into a far more cogent analysis (he also uses the word "technoutopianism" which is awesome). isn't he dreamy? someday yglesias, someday...
p.s. i was going to post my eloquent plea to rep. capuano about taking the moveon.org oil-free pledge, but i forgot to copy it before i sent it. stupid! still imagine a few pithy yet poignant paragraphs of persuasion and that's pretty much what it was. oh, and send one yourself, slacker.
6.16.2006
i love that dirty water
driving up to boston for the weekend, for the be-all-and-end-all of summer fun--the american beer fest! i've been to a few of these in my time (four in two years, i'm something of a lush) and they are truly spectacular events. there's nothing like walking up those stairs and being confronted with 75 or so tables stocked with coolers and kegs, piles of hops, free coasters, and everywhere you look, gallons of the country's best beers.
have a good weekend, i know i will.
have a good weekend, i know i will.
6.15.2006
nothing to do? there's always more politics!
it's like i always say: when in doubt, wonk it out!
bush goes to iraq! country yawns, wonders what's in the fridge
like the adolescent we always suspected he was, the president snuck out of the country for the afternoon to go joyriding around baghdad, shaking hands, smiling prettily, and infuriating insurgents, who unfortunately ran out of ieds just a few hours before the president arrived. "the great satan himself!" remarked one bemused militia member ruefully, "i knew we shouldn't have blown up that last bus full of schoolchildren. what a waste!" americans, when reached for comment, were confused.
but seriously, he's looking for a bump after the zarqawi/iraqi cabinet mojo wears off, and this might be his last chance to really get some good iraq news rolling before the 9/11 5-year and the beginning of the midterm primaries. in any case, it seems like the american people are finally tired of his nonstop posturing and actually want clear answers. welcome back, the american people! i promise to go easy on the 'i told you so's.
congress unhappy with constitution, sticks head up ass to look for answers
the republican leadership in the senate, led by evil cheer-tator frist, tried to pass another ill-considered constitutional amendment this week: the defend the flag from liberals amendment aka flag-burning. now, i'm no joe brassard-style jingoist, but i do love/have feelings for/like in that way my country and its flag. and that's precisely why i would never want to restrict my right to burn that flag. especially if my country didn't feel the same way about me as i did about it. burning everything that reminds you of your crush is the only way to heal. even oprah says so.
what if they threw a convention and nobody blogged?
fat chance. the first ever yearlykos convention was last weekend in vegas. if you don't know, dailykos is one of the biggest progressive blogs out there, boasting a ginormous readership and gads of influence. markos and friends set out to bring all of the progressive netroots together and succeeded handily, drawing such democratic luminaries as harry reid (who got booed), hillary clinton (who got booed), and wunderkind mark warner (who got crowned).
i have a lot of thoughts on the netroots, most of them good, but i still haven't sorted out my entire position. i think kos, mydd-chris, atrios, digby, et al. are probably on the right track. they have great ideas on how to undercut the consolidation of the mainstream media, play to a wider audience than the msm's homogenized content can affect, and keep the whole thing incredibly, brilliantly, small 'd' democratic. they've already had proven successes: paul hackett, tim kaine, jon tester, ned lamont, and now this guy webb. they're a force to be reckoned with in political commentary, fundraising, grassroots organizing, and now conventioning, i guess. they really do seem to have a fighting chance of forcing the direction of the party away from the dlc, the tammany-style bosses, and the frothy maw of consultancy. all of which is fantastic news, not just for the democrats, but for the entire country. and a few people are listening hard: howard dean, rahm emmanuel, and mark warner.
there's a few things that don't sit right with me though. first, the kneejerk disdain and condescension to the mainstream media. i don't like this for a couple of reasons. the msm should be a resource for the netroots, not an enemy. don't get me wrong, were these people to fall under the auspices of corporate management, the whole operation would be in trouble. but some of the nation's journalists are not patsies for the status quo and they don't kowtow and bootlick nearly as often as rabid msm-haters like kos and atrios attest. with that said, i think there has to be some way to get the msm to do it's job and actually start confronting the government like they used to. the fact is that the netroots' overt bias and partisanship is just as damaging to them as it is to everybody else. and while i also don't defend the msm as being paragons of objectivity, they deserve credit for the few times they go out and try to present all sides of the story. i guess what i'm saying is this. rather than attempt to sabotage or make irrelevant the msm, the netroots should be promoting various methods of media reform across the board.
bush goes to iraq! country yawns, wonders what's in the fridge
like the adolescent we always suspected he was, the president snuck out of the country for the afternoon to go joyriding around baghdad, shaking hands, smiling prettily, and infuriating insurgents, who unfortunately ran out of ieds just a few hours before the president arrived. "the great satan himself!" remarked one bemused militia member ruefully, "i knew we shouldn't have blown up that last bus full of schoolchildren. what a waste!" americans, when reached for comment, were confused.
but seriously, he's looking for a bump after the zarqawi/iraqi cabinet mojo wears off, and this might be his last chance to really get some good iraq news rolling before the 9/11 5-year and the beginning of the midterm primaries. in any case, it seems like the american people are finally tired of his nonstop posturing and actually want clear answers. welcome back, the american people! i promise to go easy on the 'i told you so's.
congress unhappy with constitution, sticks head up ass to look for answers
the republican leadership in the senate, led by evil cheer-tator frist, tried to pass another ill-considered constitutional amendment this week: the defend the flag from liberals amendment aka flag-burning. now, i'm no joe brassard-style jingoist, but i do love/have feelings for/like in that way my country and its flag. and that's precisely why i would never want to restrict my right to burn that flag. especially if my country didn't feel the same way about me as i did about it. burning everything that reminds you of your crush is the only way to heal. even oprah says so.
what if they threw a convention and nobody blogged?
fat chance. the first ever yearlykos convention was last weekend in vegas. if you don't know, dailykos is one of the biggest progressive blogs out there, boasting a ginormous readership and gads of influence. markos and friends set out to bring all of the progressive netroots together and succeeded handily, drawing such democratic luminaries as harry reid (who got booed), hillary clinton (who got booed), and wunderkind mark warner (who got crowned).
i have a lot of thoughts on the netroots, most of them good, but i still haven't sorted out my entire position. i think kos, mydd-chris, atrios, digby, et al. are probably on the right track. they have great ideas on how to undercut the consolidation of the mainstream media, play to a wider audience than the msm's homogenized content can affect, and keep the whole thing incredibly, brilliantly, small 'd' democratic. they've already had proven successes: paul hackett, tim kaine, jon tester, ned lamont, and now this guy webb. they're a force to be reckoned with in political commentary, fundraising, grassroots organizing, and now conventioning, i guess. they really do seem to have a fighting chance of forcing the direction of the party away from the dlc, the tammany-style bosses, and the frothy maw of consultancy. all of which is fantastic news, not just for the democrats, but for the entire country. and a few people are listening hard: howard dean, rahm emmanuel, and mark warner.
there's a few things that don't sit right with me though. first, the kneejerk disdain and condescension to the mainstream media. i don't like this for a couple of reasons. the msm should be a resource for the netroots, not an enemy. don't get me wrong, were these people to fall under the auspices of corporate management, the whole operation would be in trouble. but some of the nation's journalists are not patsies for the status quo and they don't kowtow and bootlick nearly as often as rabid msm-haters like kos and atrios attest. with that said, i think there has to be some way to get the msm to do it's job and actually start confronting the government like they used to. the fact is that the netroots' overt bias and partisanship is just as damaging to them as it is to everybody else. and while i also don't defend the msm as being paragons of objectivity, they deserve credit for the few times they go out and try to present all sides of the story. i guess what i'm saying is this. rather than attempt to sabotage or make irrelevant the msm, the netroots should be promoting various methods of media reform across the board.
6.14.2006
good news for my starbucks stock
not one, but two pieces of fantastic news for coffee drinkers out there this week. as a regular drinker of multiple coffee-based beverages every day, i've always kinda hoped that there was a silver lining to the whole stained teeth, high blood pressure thing. it turns out that i've been both saving my life and broadening my horizons all this time! huzzah for coffee! all hail the mighty bean!
first, via every single news source out there, drinking coffee may reduce the damage you all are doing to your livers by drinking all the time. a high coffee intake, 3-4 cups per day, seems to have reduced the risk of alcoholic cirrhosis by as much as 80%! hot damn. and i always thought my liver hated me. turns out i was doing as much good as harm! in your face, liver, i'm off to the liquor store.
and second, not only does coffee cure what ails you, (yes, you specifically, you dirty lush), but it can literally make you a better person. the latimes tells us that aussie scientists have determined that caffeine will open your mind. coffee will make you more open to new ideas, even if they contradict the ideas you already have. somebody call lakoff, cause this is gonna crack that whole framing problem wide open. all we have to do is take the conservatives out for coffee! it's so damn simple! i guess there's no hope for the mormons though, with their whole "no drugs" thing. poor bastards.
first, via every single news source out there, drinking coffee may reduce the damage you all are doing to your livers by drinking all the time. a high coffee intake, 3-4 cups per day, seems to have reduced the risk of alcoholic cirrhosis by as much as 80%! hot damn. and i always thought my liver hated me. turns out i was doing as much good as harm! in your face, liver, i'm off to the liquor store.
and second, not only does coffee cure what ails you, (yes, you specifically, you dirty lush), but it can literally make you a better person. the latimes tells us that aussie scientists have determined that caffeine will open your mind. coffee will make you more open to new ideas, even if they contradict the ideas you already have. somebody call lakoff, cause this is gonna crack that whole framing problem wide open. all we have to do is take the conservatives out for coffee! it's so damn simple! i guess there's no hope for the mormons though, with their whole "no drugs" thing. poor bastards.
6.13.2006
reality bites
ah, covering the phones for a lunchbreak. is there any other single experience that defines the intern so completely? i submit that there is not. oh sure, filing and collating are intern-favoring tasks, but the one-hour shift on the phones is the be all and end all of unpaid drudgery.
the office assitant or--dare i say it?--secretary gets paid a decent salary to do this job. not great, of course, but when you apply for a job called 'office assistant' you know precisely what you're getting into. for the intern, though, (especially the intern in the glamorous world of progressive policy) covering the phones has the same feel as going home to live with your parents after graduation. it's a coming down to earth sort of feeling. not really bad, in fact it's a vital component of running an office. nevertheless, i feel a little demeaned by it. i have a bachelor's degree...and printed instructions for how to forward a call to voicemail. cognitive dissonance and i are going to be good friends this summer.
plenty of time for blogging, though. and the nytimes coverage of france v. switzerland!
the office assitant or--dare i say it?--secretary gets paid a decent salary to do this job. not great, of course, but when you apply for a job called 'office assistant' you know precisely what you're getting into. for the intern, though, (especially the intern in the glamorous world of progressive policy) covering the phones has the same feel as going home to live with your parents after graduation. it's a coming down to earth sort of feeling. not really bad, in fact it's a vital component of running an office. nevertheless, i feel a little demeaned by it. i have a bachelor's degree...and printed instructions for how to forward a call to voicemail. cognitive dissonance and i are going to be good friends this summer.
plenty of time for blogging, though. and the nytimes coverage of france v. switzerland!
tuesday? again?
okay fine, a quick weekend (+ monday) recap:
at the world cup
argentina won, cecilia very happy
- not that anybody was surprised. even though they were only 9th in the world rankings going into the tournament, they're highly favored to give brazil a run for their money. this is good for me, mostly because cecilia is crazy about argentina. and you know what they say about crazy superfan girlfriends when their team wins? well, it's all true. when she found out that the final is going to be held on argentina's version of independence day (july 9th), she predicted that the entire country would simply implode in a burst of nationalism like nothing the world had ever seen.
usa embarrassed by czech republic, dan drinks heavily
- on the other hand, it didn't take long for most people to realize that the world rankings have no bearing whatsoever on the cup. we were ranked 5th out of the world going into monday's travesty. what kind of experts would rank us ahead of argentina, you ask? mythical ones, that's who. after some investigative reporting (mostly crying into my coffee and grumbling hungover anti-czech epithets) i've uncovered that the world rankings were in fact drafted by tiny, glittering pixies with mystical ink that raises the hopes of all who read it.
in other news
dan 2, dc parking laws 0!
- in a fit of pique, the dc dmv decided not to let cecilia renew my visitor's permit. instead, they used their bureaucratic superpowers to force me to undertake a dangerous quest: the search for the unzoned block! you see, dc's streets are zoned resident only, block by block. so in order to park legally, one would have to register oneself and one's car in dc and obtain a residential permit. now, dc residents are allowed to apply for visitor's passes, but then the guy was mean to cecilia and told her she was in violation of dc code (if they only knew). so, long story short, she told me to check the street that goes through the park, arguing that, since there are no residents on that block, then nobody could petition to have it zoned residents-only. lo and behold, she's a genius, and bureaucracy is thwarted again!
take pride in your nuts
- went to the dc pride week street festival on sunday after watching mexico savage iran and saying something snarky about the west winning out after all (conveniently ignoring mexico's impending flirtation with oh-so-trendy latin american populism. conformists). anyway, never having been to a pride event before, i was somewhat surprised to find that it resembles a cross between a crappy job fair and college orientation, but with fewer free keychains and more svelte young men looking for donations to human rights campaign. needless to say, the high point (like at most events ending in 'fair') was the cinnamon roasted nuts!
and i thought it was just american politicians who were monosyllabic
- on monday afternoon, i left work early to go to a resume-writing workshop, even though i was told that my resume was "awesome" when i got down to this malarial swamp of a city. i guess the greatness of my resume is moot anyway, because i went to a bar to watch the usa game instead. two beers and a large cup of dejection later, i made my way to the department of the interior (thanks to my infallible department-of-the-interior sense!) to listen to his excellency, ambassador sen of india give a little speech. a very little speech! this guy made the president look gregarious, loquacious even. seriously, i know you're a bigshot ambassador, representing over a billion people, but would it kill you to prepare a few index cards first? apparently it would. good luck with the nuclear non-proliferation.
at the world cup
argentina won, cecilia very happy
- not that anybody was surprised. even though they were only 9th in the world rankings going into the tournament, they're highly favored to give brazil a run for their money. this is good for me, mostly because cecilia is crazy about argentina. and you know what they say about crazy superfan girlfriends when their team wins? well, it's all true. when she found out that the final is going to be held on argentina's version of independence day (july 9th), she predicted that the entire country would simply implode in a burst of nationalism like nothing the world had ever seen.
usa embarrassed by czech republic, dan drinks heavily
- on the other hand, it didn't take long for most people to realize that the world rankings have no bearing whatsoever on the cup. we were ranked 5th out of the world going into monday's travesty. what kind of experts would rank us ahead of argentina, you ask? mythical ones, that's who. after some investigative reporting (mostly crying into my coffee and grumbling hungover anti-czech epithets) i've uncovered that the world rankings were in fact drafted by tiny, glittering pixies with mystical ink that raises the hopes of all who read it.
in other news
dan 2, dc parking laws 0!
- in a fit of pique, the dc dmv decided not to let cecilia renew my visitor's permit. instead, they used their bureaucratic superpowers to force me to undertake a dangerous quest: the search for the unzoned block! you see, dc's streets are zoned resident only, block by block. so in order to park legally, one would have to register oneself and one's car in dc and obtain a residential permit. now, dc residents are allowed to apply for visitor's passes, but then the guy was mean to cecilia and told her she was in violation of dc code (if they only knew). so, long story short, she told me to check the street that goes through the park, arguing that, since there are no residents on that block, then nobody could petition to have it zoned residents-only. lo and behold, she's a genius, and bureaucracy is thwarted again!
take pride in your nuts
- went to the dc pride week street festival on sunday after watching mexico savage iran and saying something snarky about the west winning out after all (conveniently ignoring mexico's impending flirtation with oh-so-trendy latin american populism. conformists). anyway, never having been to a pride event before, i was somewhat surprised to find that it resembles a cross between a crappy job fair and college orientation, but with fewer free keychains and more svelte young men looking for donations to human rights campaign. needless to say, the high point (like at most events ending in 'fair') was the cinnamon roasted nuts!
and i thought it was just american politicians who were monosyllabic
- on monday afternoon, i left work early to go to a resume-writing workshop, even though i was told that my resume was "awesome" when i got down to this malarial swamp of a city. i guess the greatness of my resume is moot anyway, because i went to a bar to watch the usa game instead. two beers and a large cup of dejection later, i made my way to the department of the interior (thanks to my infallible department-of-the-interior sense!) to listen to his excellency, ambassador sen of india give a little speech. a very little speech! this guy made the president look gregarious, loquacious even. seriously, i know you're a bigshot ambassador, representing over a billion people, but would it kill you to prepare a few index cards first? apparently it would. good luck with the nuclear non-proliferation.
6.09.2006
a sporting event for the people...
...30 billion people! hells yes, i am ready for some futbol! i don't even know why i'm so into the world cup. maybe it's mi novia internacional, maybe it's my emergence as a citizen of the world (look it up!), maybe it's the fact that my combined interest in the nhl finals, nba finals, and midseason baseball is roughly the same as my interest in america's got talent (that's none, smartass). whatever the reason, this tournament is gonna rock me sooo hard.
i just wish i could watch the games at work. usa's first match is on monday afternoon, and the odds that i can duck out and go down some frosty american beer in celebration are pretty slim. the bbc is streaming them on the interwebs, but slashdot sez that the sheer number of people trying to watch might cause the whole thing to come crashing down around our ears, bringing death and destruction, and the end of civilization. if that happens, then the terrorists have already won.
i just wish i could watch the games at work. usa's first match is on monday afternoon, and the odds that i can duck out and go down some frosty american beer in celebration are pretty slim. the bbc is streaming them on the interwebs, but slashdot sez that the sheer number of people trying to watch might cause the whole thing to come crashing down around our ears, bringing death and destruction, and the end of civilization. if that happens, then the terrorists have already won.
6.08.2006
tuesday long over, armageddon still pending
yeah, i can't leave the 6/6/06 thing alone...numerology ranking only slightly above 'symbology' on dan's scale of ridiculous things to point and laugh at. tuesday wasn't particularly memorable, it seems, even though it was actually a day we should've been remembering: the sixty-something-th anniversary of d-day! ahh, i remember back when wars meant something and men were men. now those were some gosh-darned evildoers, by gum.
but enough nostalgia, how about that devil-child movie? worth watching if only to watch julia stiles die. and to find out how long liev schriber can keep a straight face. man, the original omen wasn't so great that it merited remaking, was it? maybe hollywood forgot they already made it once. also, is it me, or does damien look less like the antichrist and more like the kid that nobody likes and gets pushed in puddles a lot? man, i hate bullies.
but enough nostalgia, how about that devil-child movie? worth watching if only to watch julia stiles die. and to find out how long liev schriber can keep a straight face. man, the original omen wasn't so great that it merited remaking, was it? maybe hollywood forgot they already made it once. also, is it me, or does damien look less like the antichrist and more like the kid that nobody likes and gets pushed in puddles a lot? man, i hate bullies.
a dose of politics
it's good for you, so shut up and swallow.
first, the news everybody's talking about. abu musab al-zarqawi was killed in an air strike last night. this is good news. even though the violence in iraq won't stop and the massive cost in lives and dollars won't be reduced, it's still good news.
second, just a little while ago, we won a vote on the estate tax! huzzah! seeing as senate procedures are only slightly less complicated than rocket surgery, i'm still a little fuzzy on what exactly we accomplished, but the guys on the budget team here are totally jazzed! repeal would cost us $1 trillion over ten years they told me in full gravitas mode. factcheck.org told a different story, but i didn't have the heart to tell them that. spin, budget team, spin like the wind!
third, tuesday (more on that later) was one of the many pre-election day elections that keep the wonks salivating and fill the lonely hours of the news cycle. and it was a pretty good day for the forces of justice. that ten commandments guy lost, old man burns is in trouble, and the rncc spent a whopping one fifth of its warchest on ca-50 only to win by a paltry 5000 votes. that's not what i would call a stellar roi. then again, i got most of my economics knowledge from playing simcity.
oh yeah, and the fma went down in flames again, picking up one more vote (49) than it had in 2004. at this rate, homosexuals won't have anything to worry about until 2042--except for hatred, fear, oppression, pesky state marriage bans, aids, the bird flu, evildoers, immigrants, flag burners, suvs, and mary cheney. and this was supposed to be uplifting. sorry.
first, the news everybody's talking about. abu musab al-zarqawi was killed in an air strike last night. this is good news. even though the violence in iraq won't stop and the massive cost in lives and dollars won't be reduced, it's still good news.
second, just a little while ago, we won a vote on the estate tax! huzzah! seeing as senate procedures are only slightly less complicated than rocket surgery, i'm still a little fuzzy on what exactly we accomplished, but the guys on the budget team here are totally jazzed! repeal would cost us $1 trillion over ten years they told me in full gravitas mode. factcheck.org told a different story, but i didn't have the heart to tell them that. spin, budget team, spin like the wind!
third, tuesday (more on that later) was one of the many pre-election day elections that keep the wonks salivating and fill the lonely hours of the news cycle. and it was a pretty good day for the forces of justice. that ten commandments guy lost, old man burns is in trouble, and the rncc spent a whopping one fifth of its warchest on ca-50 only to win by a paltry 5000 votes. that's not what i would call a stellar roi. then again, i got most of my economics knowledge from playing simcity.
oh yeah, and the fma went down in flames again, picking up one more vote (49) than it had in 2004. at this rate, homosexuals won't have anything to worry about until 2042--except for hatred, fear, oppression, pesky state marriage bans, aids, the bird flu, evildoers, immigrants, flag burners, suvs, and mary cheney. and this was supposed to be uplifting. sorry.
6.07.2006
bycadelic
alright, i fully admit that i may not be the most accomplished cyclist in the world. my ride is a police auction special (courtesy of the ithaca pd, thanks guys!), i can't afford clip-in pedals, and i've never even been to france. however, i do have some small experience with the clusterfuck-on-wheels that is urban bike commuting.
in the ways that matter--traffic laws, number of cars on the road, stupid pedestrians--dc is a lot like boston. while the roads are wider, bike lanes are nonexistent and may in fact be mythical. however, there are two very big differences that i've noticed so far. first, cars seem to be possessed of an almost third-world-esque desire to take up every inch of pavement on the road. three cars across two lanes seems to be a fun game for dc drivers, as is driving as close to the curb as possible.
secondly, dc bikers are a lot stupider than their new england counterparts. maybe it's because i read that dig article that one time, but the rules of biking (to say nothing of the laws) are pretty clear. stay on the right side of the road, obey traffic lights, stay off the sidewalks, use hand signals. pretty simple stuff, really, and yet during my 30 minute ride, i had to twice dodge oncoming bikers in my way and use my disapproving face at riders who were barreling down the sidewalk next to me. i wouldn't normally be upset by little things, but when bikers act stupidly, it makes it less safe for all of us. douchebags.
in the interests of full disclosure, i have on occasion ridden through a (deserted!) red light and used (empty!) sidewalks to get around stupid traffic problems. i do these things knowing full well that they are wrong and the inevitable crushing guilt is punishment enough. i'm pretty sure this morning's crop of morons aren't smart enough to even comprehend guilt, let alone the bike laws.
in the ways that matter--traffic laws, number of cars on the road, stupid pedestrians--dc is a lot like boston. while the roads are wider, bike lanes are nonexistent and may in fact be mythical. however, there are two very big differences that i've noticed so far. first, cars seem to be possessed of an almost third-world-esque desire to take up every inch of pavement on the road. three cars across two lanes seems to be a fun game for dc drivers, as is driving as close to the curb as possible.
secondly, dc bikers are a lot stupider than their new england counterparts. maybe it's because i read that dig article that one time, but the rules of biking (to say nothing of the laws) are pretty clear. stay on the right side of the road, obey traffic lights, stay off the sidewalks, use hand signals. pretty simple stuff, really, and yet during my 30 minute ride, i had to twice dodge oncoming bikers in my way and use my disapproving face at riders who were barreling down the sidewalk next to me. i wouldn't normally be upset by little things, but when bikers act stupidly, it makes it less safe for all of us. douchebags.
in the interests of full disclosure, i have on occasion ridden through a (deserted!) red light and used (empty!) sidewalks to get around stupid traffic problems. i do these things knowing full well that they are wrong and the inevitable crushing guilt is punishment enough. i'm pretty sure this morning's crop of morons aren't smart enough to even comprehend guilt, let alone the bike laws.
6.06.2006
speaking of gawker
two unbelievably minor pieces of celebrity-dan intersection to report.
1. i'm pretty sure i saw the third-place finisher of last week's scripp's national spelling bee walking in front of the capitol on saturday. this wouldn't be all that interesting except she was, in the words of tim (one of the guys i watched it with), "like, the hottest 13-year-old ever!"
1a. yes, i watched the spelling bee with other guys. but in my defense: it was supposed to be a non-spelling-related party that fell through, my girlfriend was there too, and we flipped to so you think you can dance on the commercials. so there.
1b. for the record, the hottest 13-year-old ever was hermione in the third 'harry potter' movie. and that was determined by judges, people! judges!
2. this one's way better, if by 'better' i mean 'completely obscure and ridiculous', which i do. it turns out that henry gale--the evil guy on lost dated cecilia's friend's mom for a while way back in another decade! how crazy is that? i mean, sweet jesus, i wouldn't date anyone with bugeyes like his.
hmm. maybe whatever it is gawker does is harder than it looks. ahahahaha. no way, if those invertibrates can score serious celebrity scoops, it's only because the streets of manhattan are literally paved with 'stars' just waiting for some slobs with camera phones and blackberries to get used to the daylight and notice them.
1. i'm pretty sure i saw the third-place finisher of last week's scripp's national spelling bee walking in front of the capitol on saturday. this wouldn't be all that interesting except she was, in the words of tim (one of the guys i watched it with), "like, the hottest 13-year-old ever!"
1a. yes, i watched the spelling bee with other guys. but in my defense: it was supposed to be a non-spelling-related party that fell through, my girlfriend was there too, and we flipped to so you think you can dance on the commercials. so there.
1b. for the record, the hottest 13-year-old ever was hermione in the third 'harry potter' movie. and that was determined by judges, people! judges!
2. this one's way better, if by 'better' i mean 'completely obscure and ridiculous', which i do. it turns out that henry gale--the evil guy on lost dated cecilia's friend's mom for a while way back in another decade! how crazy is that? i mean, sweet jesus, i wouldn't date anyone with bugeyes like his.
hmm. maybe whatever it is gawker does is harder than it looks. ahahahaha. no way, if those invertibrates can score serious celebrity scoops, it's only because the streets of manhattan are literally paved with 'stars' just waiting for some slobs with camera phones and blackberries to get used to the daylight and notice them.
Blogrolling in DC
one of my fondest memories of the 9-5 grind is unlimited interweb time and having almost nothing that i should be doing instead. maybe it's a particular hallmark of the kind of 'real' jobs that i've had in my life, but it often seems to play out that way.
since i've been back at it, unpaid intern style, i've been trying to acquaint myself with the creme-de-la-creme of dc blogging--a project that i never quite got off the ground up in boston. here it is, week 2, and i've got something to show for myself. a short list of cranky people who seem to have as much free time as i do.
wonkette
why.i.hate.dc
the blonde menace
dcist
irina is always right
they're not political, inasmuch as anything in dc is not political, and wonkette at least is corporate (part of the gawker network, ugh), but screw it, i had fun reading them today.
since i've been back at it, unpaid intern style, i've been trying to acquaint myself with the creme-de-la-creme of dc blogging--a project that i never quite got off the ground up in boston. here it is, week 2, and i've got something to show for myself. a short list of cranky people who seem to have as much free time as i do.
wonkette
why.i.hate.dc
the blonde menace
dcist
irina is always right
they're not political, inasmuch as anything in dc is not political, and wonkette at least is corporate (part of the gawker network, ugh), but screw it, i had fun reading them today.
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