not one, but two pieces of fantastic news for coffee drinkers out there this week. as a regular drinker of multiple coffee-based beverages every day, i've always kinda hoped that there was a silver lining to the whole stained teeth, high blood pressure thing. it turns out that i've been both saving my life and broadening my horizons all this time! huzzah for coffee! all hail the mighty bean!
first, via every single news source out there, drinking coffee may reduce the damage you all are doing to your livers by drinking all the time. a high coffee intake, 3-4 cups per day, seems to have reduced the risk of alcoholic cirrhosis by as much as 80%! hot damn. and i always thought my liver hated me. turns out i was doing as much good as harm! in your face, liver, i'm off to the liquor store.
and second, not only does coffee cure what ails you, (yes, you specifically, you dirty lush), but it can literally make you a better person. the latimes tells us that aussie scientists have determined that caffeine will open your mind. coffee will make you more open to new ideas, even if they contradict the ideas you already have. somebody call lakoff, cause this is gonna crack that whole framing problem wide open. all we have to do is take the conservatives out for coffee! it's so damn simple! i guess there's no hope for the mormons though, with their whole "no drugs" thing. poor bastards.
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